A Voice Warned Her… Seconds Before Her Daughter's Seizure | Amberleigh Smith | 039

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I'm walking out the door after
putting her in the crib and as I

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click the door shut I hear
fibril seizure.

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It's not loud, it's not a loud
voice, it's not like someone

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shouting fibril seizure at me,
but it was definitely a voice.

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Welcome to When You Look, where
ordinary people share their

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extraordinary experiences and
you get to decide, was it

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coincidence or God?
Kimberly, thank you so much for

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being on When You Look.
It's so great to have you.

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Thank you so much for the
opportunity to connect with you

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today.
Thank you.

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Oh man, absolutely.
We are in for a treat for sure.

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But before we get into your
amazing story, tell us a little

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bit about yourself.
Sure.

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Thank you so much.
Yes, My name is Amber Lee Smith.

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I am 39 years old, not ashamed
or afraid to admit it these

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days, and I am blessed to be
buried to my husband, my best

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friend for the past 16 years.
We have three incredible

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children and just living a a
beautiful, messy, chaotic,

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wonderful life is a family of
five.

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Wouldn't want it any other way.
Awesome, awesome, awesome,

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awesome.
Well, thank you so much for that

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introduction and a little bit of
background on you.

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Let's jump into your story, give
us a little bit of the back

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story so we understand what was
happening in life, and then walk

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us through things as they went.
For you sure, absolutely.

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So little bit of back story.
So I will take us back a little

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ways.
It was the summer of 2021, so

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it's been a while ago now.
I was six weeks from my due date

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with our third child, so very,
very pregnant and my oldest at

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the time was 3 Alice, our middle
was about 21 months and mixed

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you just been fighting with a
fever, right?

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My all three of my kids went to
daycare.

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You know your kids go to daycare
in the general world, right?

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We know what it's like for our
kiddos to get sick.

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So she was fighting fever that
day.

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We were doing the Tylenol
ibuprofen thing was just trying

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to keep her comfortable.
And it was, it was about 6:00 in

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the evening.
This would have been, it was the

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weekend of Memorial Day.
So it was warm, right?

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She refused for dinner.
And I was like, well, you know,

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I'm not going to make a sick kid
eat.

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And she also refused her
Tylenol.

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So I was like, well, I'm just
going to put her down in her

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crib.
Maybe she needs some sleep.

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Put her down in her crib.
And I go to walk outside because

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my husband and my son are
outside eating popsicles, right?

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Just enjoying summer eating.
And so I, you know, put her in

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her crib.
I walk outside, I shut the front

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door and I remember hearing a
voice, I remember hearing a

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voice that said fibril seizure.
And in that moment if, if

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you're, if you're not familiar
with fibril seizure, it's

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something that happens to young
children.

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I had experience with it because
my oldest had had a fibril

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seizure when he was nine months
old.

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So I immediately when I heard
that, because I had the context,

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because I heard the voice, I was
like, I'm going to go in and

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check on her, right?
So I immediately go back inside.

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I open up the door, she's asleep
in her crib.

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And as I peek in the door, I'm
like, oh, she's asleep.

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She's OK, right?
And I go to shut the door and

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she wakes up, right?
So I wake up my sick sleeping

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child, which is like a moment of
like, oh gosh, like she needs to

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sleep.
Why did I wake her up?

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Darn it?
But it's like, OK, I'm just

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going to scoop her up.
I'm going to scoop her up.

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I'm going to take her outside.
So I scoop her up out of the

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crib, right?
Oh, well, I woke up my sleeping

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baby, you know, I carry her
outside and I sit down on a

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bench.
And the minute I sit down with

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her little body, she lets out a,
a scream and immediately starts

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convulsing head to toe.
She immediately just starts

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seizing.
And in that moment, I'm so

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thankful for my past experience.
And I'm so thankful for that

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voice because I knew what to do.
I knew I, I, I stood back up,

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screwed her up as she's seizing,
carried her in the house.

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As I'm yelling to my husband,
fibril seizure, he comes

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running.
I take her inside.

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I, I lay her on the changing
table and I call 911.

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It's a very surreal experience.
It's very out of body

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experience, truly.
I'm calling 911.

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I'm talking to the dispatcher.
As I'm talking to her, David, my

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oldest at the time, comes over
and I see him standing next to

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the changing table.
He's clutching the side of the

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changing table and he's saying,
Sissy, it's going to be OK,

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you're going to be OK with this
sticky popsicle covered fingers.

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It took 13 minutes for the
ambulance to get to our house.

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She convulsed that entire time.
She started to turn purple and

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as the paramedic center at the
house, they, you know, we, they

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carried her off, took her into
the ambulance.

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I agreed.
Yes, we're going to Children's

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Hospital, right.
Just let's go.

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And I, I get in the front seat
of the ambulance and we, we make

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our way to Children's Hospital.
It's about a 40 minute drive to

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the hospital.
She's she took, she seized for

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that entire drive.
So her body was in active

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convulsions for over an hour.
It took three courses of anti

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seizure medication for her body
to relax, at which point we were

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admitted to the hospital and
they performed every, every test

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imaginable on her.
I remember them, they did a CAT

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scan, ACT scan, they did a
Spinal Tap.

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They did all of these tests and
it was late.

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It was late by the time we got
upstairs to the the inpatient

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room.
They, like I said, they've done

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every test.
I walk into the room and her

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tiny little body is sitting in a
bed that just seems way too big

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for her.
She's hooked up to all kinds of

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wires and machines, and she was
effectively in a coma.

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Her body had had gone through a
lot and they had her on oxygen,

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so it's helping her breathe.
I had an IV in to keep her

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hydrated.
And we were in the hospital for

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for three days.
It was the second day she again,

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you know, in a coma.
She's just sitting there.

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I'm not sleeping, Nick.
I mean, there, I don't know how

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many times the wonderful humans
that work at the Children's

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Hospital came in to tell me, you
know, you can go home, you can

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get up, you can go get something
to eat.

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And but I, I just couldn't, I, I
couldn't, I couldn't my husband,

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God bless him, was like, you
need to sleep, right?

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You're, you're six weeks from
delivering our third child.

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Like you, you need to sleep and
you need to eat.

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And I just, I just couldn't, I
was riddled with a fear that I,

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I, it's hard to articulate the
kind of fear that I was sitting

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in.
I felt like a shell of a human

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just, and you, I felt so
hopeless and helpless, right?

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She's, she's my daughter, she's
my baby.

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And there is nothing I can do.
So it's day 2, and the doctor

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comes in and, you know, they've
explained all of these tests

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that they've done came back
normal, right?

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They can't find anything.
They said the only thing they're

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able to find is that you know
what?

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She's got a cold.
She has a cold.

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A cold doesn't make you sneeze
for over an hour, right?

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Like that's not typical.
And so a doctor comes in and

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they're having conversations
with me and my husband that it

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is very possible that she's not
going to make it.

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That.
Yeah, that this is, this is not,

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it is not normal.
And what they're seeing is not

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even the symptoms and what
they're seeing doesn't even line

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up with anything that they can
really liken it to that they're

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really at a loss as well.
And so they're preparing us and

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they leave the room.
My husband and I are sitting

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with that right.
And a neurologist comes in and

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he says, you know, I've got an
idea.

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I don't know if this is going to
work.

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I like I don't know, but I have
an idea.

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Would you be OK with and make I
couldn't even tell you what he

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said.
I was like, you do whatever you

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need to do.
I don't care what it is like you

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if you have an idea, I trust
you.

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You like go do the thing what it
like I don't care.

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We're desperate.
Yes, like do it right.

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And so we sign a paper.
He says OK, he leaves and a

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nurse comes in and I'll never
forget the nurses comment.

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She you could tell she's a
seasoned professional, right?

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She's been doing this for a
while.

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And she looks at me and she
looks at Alice and she goes, I

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don't know why we're doing this.
She's like, this isn't going to

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work.
This isn't what this is for.

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Like I don't like why?
And she was just like, I could,

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she wasn't even really talking
to me, right?

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But I could, she was out loud, I
could tell just processing what

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was going on in her own brain.
She was just kind of like, this

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is like, this is pointless.
Why?

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Like, I'm going to do it because
it's my job.

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But this doesn't make sense.
So she administers a medication.

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I come to learn that it's
albuterol.

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It's an asthma medication that
the doctor put in her mask that

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she was using to breathe.
And so my husband and I are

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sitting there just watching.
And she leaves the room.

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And within 30 minutes, Alice
wakes up.

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And when she wakes up, she looks
at us, right?

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My daughter looks at us.
She's actually like looking

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directly at us and she just says
Jesus and my husband and I were

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like, what?
And I got some very important

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context here that I didn't share
earlier is that my daughter was

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born significantly delayed and
with disabilities.

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She was non verbal prior to
this.

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Wow, she.
Didn't speak.

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And her first words were Jesus.
And she just kept saying it over

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and over and over again.
And that's her little body kind

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of like pinked up.
And she's she's sitting up and

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she's, you know, she's starting
to regain some strength.

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The doctors come in and they're
like dumb.

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They're dumbfounded.
The nurse is dumbfounded.

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Like, this doesn't make any
sense.

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Like this What?
And so all of us are just in the

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room, like we less than an hour
ago, are having a conversation

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that she's not going to make it.
Yeah.

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And then we need to prepare
ourselves for that.

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And now she's awake and she's
smiling, and she's speaking the

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name of Jesus.
Yeah.

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And it took another 24 hours for
her little body to regain enough

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strength that we were released
from the hospital.

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And I'll never forget those
moments, too.

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We're sitting there and the
doctors are like, well, I guess

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you get to go home.
Like, you get to go home.

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And she's, you know, she's
strong enough.

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She's healthy enough.
They asked us a ton of

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questions, like, was she delayed
before?

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Like what?
Like they're trying to unpack,

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like what?
And it's like, well, she was

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already delayed, right?
The seizure didn't cause the

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delay, but there was still a
remaining question at the end,

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right?
Still, from a clinical

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perspective, right, they don't
understand why, like why that

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medication worked or how it
worked.

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I know how it worked.
My husband knows how it worked,

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right?
We, we know that we, we know

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that Jesus caught her awake, he
raised her, he woke her up and

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he, he performed a miracle for
our family that change the

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trajectory of our life, of our
children's lives forever,

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forever.
And yeah, and, and we've still

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left, right.
So, so you know, he performed a

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miracle and I will shout that
miracle and share that miracle

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with anyone and everyone who
will listen all day, every day.

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That said, we still left with
questions, right?

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We still left with questions.
The key question was why did her

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little body seize for over an
hour?

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You know, I'm not, I'm not a
doctor.

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So I think that's important to,
to say I'm not a doctor.

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What we learned from the doctors
about fibro seizure is generally

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00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:38,760
they last five minutes or less.
It's it happens once kiddo never

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00:15:38,760 --> 00:15:42,560
has them again, right?
That was the case with my

224
00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:44,160
oldest.
He had one.

225
00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:46,520
He had a spike in fever, had a
seizure.

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00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:50,440
It's called simple, which is a
parent feels like not

227
00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:53,200
appropriate language because
it's not simple, right?

228
00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:56,880
They're doctors.
But Alice was obviously

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00:15:56,880 --> 00:16:00,240
different.
So we left with the why.

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Like why did why did that
happen?

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00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:04,880
Right?
All the tests were fine.

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00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:08,440
A cold doesn't 'cause this
right?

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00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:16,920
So what was it?
And we spent the next two years

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00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:25,520
diving into the Y, diving into
the Y and I what's.

235
00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:29,200
So I guess a part of that major
transformation is because of

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00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:36,320
that miracle and because we we
had the just a gift of seeing

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00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:39,280
the Lord work in our daughter,
right.

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Not only did he wake her up, he
woke up my husband and I, We

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00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:48,720
were not believers prior to that
miracle.

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00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:52,240
We had kind of we had been
watching some church online.

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00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:55,400
We, you know, we were kind of
trying to figure out what is

242
00:16:55,400 --> 00:17:00,400
this whole Christian thing.
You know, neither of us grew up

243
00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:05,440
in what you would traditionally
call like a Christian household,

244
00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:07,920
right?
So we didn't have a lot of that

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00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:10,440
context going into this
experience.

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00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:16,359
But you best believe the minute
we got home with her, it was

247
00:17:16,359 --> 00:17:17,760
like, well, we're going to
church now.

248
00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:20,359
We don't know anything, but
we're going to figure this thing

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00:17:20,359 --> 00:17:25,440
out because like Alice, Alice
has met him.

250
00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:30,120
Alice knows him, he knows her.
And we just not like the, the,

251
00:17:30,120 --> 00:17:37,600
the core of my being from that
moment has radically changed

252
00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:44,680
that.
I mean, I won't compare it to

253
00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:48,640
the same miracle that he
performed in my daughter, but a

254
00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:50,760
radical transformation has
changed.

255
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:55,480
And so with that transformation
going into the next two years of

256
00:17:55,480 --> 00:18:01,200
those questions, we navigated
those two years.

257
00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:06,640
We navigated those conversations
with a sense of peace and with a

258
00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:15,920
sense of divine strength that I
know I would not have had if it

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00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:18,240
wasn't for her miracle and if it
wasn't for him.

260
00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:28,480
He just, I mean, it's hard.
It is hard to articulate in

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00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:33,600
words how he's walked with us
and how he has transformed us as

262
00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:38,400
a family.
Not to say that life isn't hard,

263
00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:40,000
right?
I think the other important

264
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:45,040
thing here to share is that in
those two years of advocating

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00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:51,280
for her and asking why, we have
learned that Alice lives with a

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00:18:51,360 --> 00:18:56,680
very rare genetic disorder
called Kifwani.

267
00:18:57,160 --> 00:19:02,560
She is 1 of 600.
It is a degenerative progressive

268
00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:08,280
disease, meaning that very
likely she will get worse and

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00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:13,840
deteriorate over time.
It has a a high mortality rate

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00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:26,360
and all of those things are
scary, but God is so good.

271
00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:33,840
He is so good.
And we know through him and

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00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:36,360
through what we've experienced
in her miracle that he is with

273
00:19:36,360 --> 00:19:38,800
her no matter what, all day,
every day.

274
00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:44,400
And again, the peace that we
have as a family transcends any

275
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:49,000
of that scary stuff that we walk
through day in and day out.

276
00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:55,160
And so I just, I could make I
could go on for days, right?

277
00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:57,960
I could go on for days about
this.

278
00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:03,640
But he, he performed a miracle
for our daughter that we are

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00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:08,320
eternally grateful for.
Not only saved her from death,

280
00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:12,880
he saved our family from
spiritual death.

281
00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:17,520
And we are walking testimony
today about.

282
00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:22,880
How he will transform your heart
when you let him in and let him

283
00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:25,600
walk with you through those
scary things.

284
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:30,840
It does not make life any
easier.

285
00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:34,440
The heart is still hard.
We are still.

286
00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:37,960
We still have broken hearted
moments where we cry and it's

287
00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:42,120
challenging and she struggles
and watching her go through

288
00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:49,280
regressions and watching her go
through procedures is never

289
00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:54,160
easy.
He is.

290
00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:58,680
He is near the broken hearted.
He is with us every single day

291
00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:03,240
and we know that he is going to
carry our family through this

292
00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:09,160
and Alice through this and we
are so much better for it.

293
00:21:10,040 --> 00:21:12,920
And I will praise his name all
day, every day, like I said to

294
00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:17,040
anyone and everyone who will
listen, because he is so, so

295
00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:19,960
good.
Amen to that.

296
00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:26,920
Amen to that.
Praise God, Amber Lane, thanks

297
00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:28,800
for breaking all that down for
us.

298
00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:35,840
I mean, that is clearly amazing
and miraculous using your word

299
00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:37,640
there.
I feel the same way for sure.

300
00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:42,680
But it's ultimately your story.
Let's rewind a little bit.

301
00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:51,800
I want to go back to the
hospital room and you describing

302
00:21:54,600 --> 00:22:02,560
hopelessness and helplessness
and fear because as you talked

303
00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:07,680
about, you were not a Christian
at this point, there's no

304
00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:12,240
relationship with God.
So just give us a little more

305
00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:17,400
color into what that
hopelessness, helplessness and

306
00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:20,640
fear was like.
Sure, sure.

307
00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:24,720
I wouldn't wish that feeling on
my worst enemy.

308
00:22:31,900 --> 00:22:36,220
I remember sitting in that room
next to her little hospital bed,

309
00:22:36,340 --> 00:22:38,740
my hand through the slats, kind
of holding her hands.

310
00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:47,280
Thinking I have failed.
This is my fault.

311
00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:54,680
It's my job as her mother to
protect her.

312
00:23:02,410 --> 00:23:05,970
Excuse me?
Yeah, take your time.

313
00:23:08,290 --> 00:23:12,410
Tears are all good here.
It is crushing.

314
00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:28,600
Because I had always been so
proud of my ability to make

315
00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:33,080
things happen up until that
point.

316
00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:39,200
I would tell you all day long
about how I had done this.

317
00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:41,240
And I achieved that.
Yeah.

318
00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:44,680
And my children have achieved
these things and done these

319
00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:46,920
things.
And you know, like I said, she

320
00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:50,360
was born, she was three months
old when we realized that

321
00:23:50,360 --> 00:23:52,600
something was different and we
needed some help.

322
00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:55,920
And so we enlisted early
intervention services.

323
00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:59,520
We started doing physical
therapy, occupational therapy,

324
00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:02,840
and it was incredible.
I again, I would tell anyone and

325
00:24:02,840 --> 00:24:05,160
everyone, right, if you have
questions, reach out to your

326
00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:08,080
early intervention team, right?
Let them help you help your kid.

327
00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:13,280
But I would tell you, oh, you
know, we did these therapies and

328
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:17,080
she's making this progress.
And I set this up and I helped

329
00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:25,840
her do this.
And, you know, I was very proud

330
00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:29,880
of all that I had accomplished
and all that I had done for our

331
00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:33,120
children.
So sitting in that hospital

332
00:24:33,120 --> 00:24:43,560
room, all of that came crashing
because nothing I had ever done,

333
00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:48,600
nothing I did previously had
prevented this.

334
00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:50,840
And so immediately it was my
fault.

335
00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:53,240
It was my fault this had
happened.

336
00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:55,480
I didn't protect her in some
way.

337
00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:58,880
I didn't do something somewhere
down the road that could have

338
00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:03,560
kept this from her.
And not only was it my fault,

339
00:25:03,560 --> 00:25:06,280
but I couldn't do anything about
it, right?

340
00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:07,480
Who am I?
I am.

341
00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:11,960
I am I am a corporate mom who
types on a computer and fills

342
00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:18,680
out spreadsheets all day.
OK I have 0 ability to help her

343
00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:25,640
comfort her.
I I couldn't do anything and so

344
00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:27,560
I think I mentioned I felt like
a shell.

345
00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:33,640
I felt like, like I was just
walking around that room

346
00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:39,040
aimlessly and the only thing
rolling through my head was this

347
00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:41,520
is my fault.
I could, I did can't do anything

348
00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:43,480
about this.
There's nobody who can help her.

349
00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:45,480
I can't help her.
Who's going to help her?

350
00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:52,040
Just the questions and the the
negative self talk rolling

351
00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:55,080
through my head.
It it, it did not stop.

352
00:25:56,000 --> 00:26:00,480
It didn't stop.
And I, like you said, I was not

353
00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:02,640
a believer.
So I didn't have anything in my

354
00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:07,600
toolbox at the time either to
help me navigate that headspace,

355
00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:15,480
to help me quiet that noise.
It was just relentless.

356
00:26:18,360 --> 00:26:26,190
Wow.
Thank you for being really

357
00:26:26,190 --> 00:26:29,910
transparent there.
See the only way to be?

358
00:26:32,070 --> 00:26:36,670
I agree.
But it's, you know, we all want

359
00:26:36,670 --> 00:26:43,560
to be super parents, and you
describe the pride that was

360
00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:46,360
embedded in that.
Oh yeah, thank.

361
00:26:46,360 --> 00:26:47,400
You.
Yeah.

362
00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:49,320
Thank you for being honest about
that.

363
00:26:51,320 --> 00:26:53,440
Thank you for hearing me and
receiving that.

364
00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:55,760
Oh.
Absolutely.

365
00:26:57,760 --> 00:27:05,920
So Alice wakes up, her first
word is Jesus.

366
00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:13,840
And you have described your
life, certainly hers, but also

367
00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:18,040
your life, your husband's lives
being radically changed.

368
00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:24,160
But you also mentioned having to
let him in.

369
00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:32,080
So tell us about how all of that
transformation for you and your

370
00:27:32,080 --> 00:27:36,240
husband or, you know, just for
you, How did that go down?

371
00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:38,920
Yeah, great.
So phenomenal question and I

372
00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:41,320
appreciate your, your asterisks
there.

373
00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:43,880
I will definitely speak for
myself and not my husband.

374
00:27:45,720 --> 00:27:47,600
So you're, you're absolutely
right.

375
00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:51,840
You know, today it's, it's been
4 years since the miracle.

376
00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:56,840
So sitting today, it's so easy
for me to say I've been

377
00:27:56,840 --> 00:27:59,640
radically transformed.
I will tell you right now that

378
00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:03,360
didn't happen the minute we got
home, right?

379
00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:09,800
So I'm, I'm bringing her home
and life is still chaotic and

380
00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:11,200
crazy.
I'm still 8 months pregnant,

381
00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:13,680
right?
I'm, I'm still trying to manage.

382
00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:16,160
I work full time, you know,
we're, we're still doing all

383
00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:21,120
these things.
So life never slowed down, never

384
00:28:21,120 --> 00:28:23,560
slowed down.
We get home, we have all these

385
00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:26,600
questions.
We still have therapy to do,

386
00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:28,080
right?
We're, we're still doing all the

387
00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:34,440
things.
And I'll tell you, I, I, I

388
00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:39,800
couldn't pinpoint a particular
moment that I said, OK, God, you

389
00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:44,320
can come in now, OK, Like go
ahead and you can like transform

390
00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:46,680
me, right?
It did not work that way.

391
00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:51,880
Instead, what happened is in the
chaos, right?

392
00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:56,080
That was life for the next 4
years.

393
00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:02,160
Every time I was on the call
with the doctor, had to make an

394
00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:05,440
appointment with the doctor, was
rescheduling therapies, was

395
00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:12,480
doing therapy at home.
The mindset shift happened

396
00:29:12,480 --> 00:29:15,280
first.
God saved her.

397
00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:24,040
I have another chance.
I am so grateful for that and

398
00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:28,200
sometimes I think we can put
added pressure on ourselves with

399
00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:32,400
that mindset, but praise God, I
didn't have the added like

400
00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:35,440
internal self-imposed pressure
of that.

401
00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:42,280
I was walking in this space of
gratitude that through seeing

402
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:45,080
everything is like truly a
God-given moment, right?

403
00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:49,120
This is God, this is God-given
extra time that I have, I am

404
00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:53,080
going to have this conversation
with the insurance company more

405
00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:55,440
compassionately.
I'm not going to get as

406
00:29:55,440 --> 00:29:57,200
frustrated.
I'm going to walk through this

407
00:29:57,200 --> 00:30:01,520
phone call and the insurance
companies can be frustrating.

408
00:30:01,520 --> 00:30:04,640
OK, I'm going to walk through
with grace, right?

409
00:30:04,640 --> 00:30:08,120
This is another human on the
other side of this phone when

410
00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:11,200
I'm trying to get all three or
all 2, all two kids in my third

411
00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:14,120
inside of my belly at the time.
All of us like to an

412
00:30:14,120 --> 00:30:16,280
appointment.
I'm going to give our our family

413
00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:21,080
a little bit more grace.
I'm not going to rush as much so

414
00:30:21,080 --> 00:30:25,520
as I was embracing that mindset
that truly I believe stems from

415
00:30:25,520 --> 00:30:28,080
gratitude, right?
A gratitude mindset.

416
00:30:29,600 --> 00:30:32,880
So this that's happening over
here while simultaneously my

417
00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:36,880
husband and I are having
conversations about, well, we're

418
00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:41,000
going to go to church now like
we want to, we really want to

419
00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:43,080
study and figure out what this
is about.

420
00:30:43,560 --> 00:30:46,720
So we started going to church.
So then we started getting

421
00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:49,520
involved in our church and
listening to the messages from

422
00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:55,800
our pastor and those two things,
the The Walking and gratitude

423
00:30:56,080 --> 00:31:01,040
and really just going into the
Christian environment, not

424
00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:04,400
knowing all the answers, being
OK with not knowing the answers,

425
00:31:04,560 --> 00:31:08,040
being grateful for the fact that
we live in a country where we

426
00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:11,320
can just go down the street and
go to church and meet people and

427
00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:14,800
ask questions, right?
All those little moments of

428
00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:23,920
those little micro moments
started to come together and I

429
00:31:23,920 --> 00:31:26,520
will say there was 1 sermon in
particular.

430
00:31:26,520 --> 00:31:28,680
My pastors heard me share this
with him.

431
00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:34,640
So I, you know, he gave a sermon
on finding joy in your trials.

432
00:31:36,720 --> 00:31:39,400
Like I was mad.
I remember leaving that sermon

433
00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:41,680
like how dare you Sir, you don't
know what I've been through.

434
00:31:41,680 --> 00:31:44,960
You don't know what my are like.
I was really angry.

435
00:31:47,400 --> 00:31:49,960
And I remember having that
conversation with my husband.

436
00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:53,240
And because again, we're walking
in gratitude or trying to give

437
00:31:53,240 --> 00:31:58,280
people grace, I reached out and
I had a conversation with my

438
00:31:58,280 --> 00:32:00,600
pastor and we were able to talk
through that.

439
00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:06,800
And I think that was probably
one of the key moments in the

440
00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:15,000
transformation was wow, not only
is God performing miracles in

441
00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:18,480
our family, he is not afraid of
my hard questions.

442
00:32:18,640 --> 00:32:22,840
He is not afraid of my anger.
This community is not afraid of

443
00:32:22,840 --> 00:32:26,800
my, my knee jerk reaction to
this stuff.

444
00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:29,600
We're having conversations.
As I'm having these

445
00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:37,160
conversations, I can, I can feel
my heart transforming, right?

446
00:32:37,800 --> 00:32:42,280
We can, we can feel it.
And then the people around us

447
00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:47,760
started commenting on it, right?
Like, oh wow, you really

448
00:32:48,160 --> 00:32:51,480
navigated that well or gosh, you
seem Pretty Little little like

449
00:32:51,480 --> 00:32:54,880
level headed about that really
hard thing that you're going

450
00:32:54,880 --> 00:32:59,080
through.
That's like, yeah, it's not me

451
00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:03,720
friend.
Like, you know, like I, I

452
00:33:04,920 --> 00:33:08,360
through letting him in and
again, it wasn't a hi Jesus,

453
00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:12,200
like come on in, but through the
process of walking my through my

454
00:33:12,200 --> 00:33:15,800
life a little bit differently,
engaging with our, our Christian

455
00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:19,680
community, reading my Bible,
reading the word, diving into

456
00:33:19,680 --> 00:33:27,920
that, I have embraced him and I
have let him in.

457
00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:33,520
And in doing so, four years
later, I can sit here and tell

458
00:33:33,520 --> 00:33:36,280
you it was a it's been a radical
transformation.

459
00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:40,400
Didn't happen over now, right,
But it has been a radical

460
00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:43,480
transformation that honestly,
between you and me, I'm still

461
00:33:43,480 --> 00:33:46,680
growing, I'm still learning.
He's going to keep doing it and

462
00:33:46,680 --> 00:33:49,120
like, let's go.
What else do you want to show?

463
00:33:49,120 --> 00:33:51,600
Right.
That's so good.

464
00:33:55,120 --> 00:33:58,680
Wow.
Yeah, thanks for breaking that

465
00:33:58,680 --> 00:33:59,520
down.
We've got it.

466
00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:02,040
We got to hone in on one
specific point of it though.

467
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:06,280
OK?
So Alice wakes up OK.

468
00:34:06,280 --> 00:34:09,239
And I'm going to say this with
every bit of respect to do to

469
00:34:09,239 --> 00:34:15,639
Alice, OK?
And she says, Jesus, at that

470
00:34:15,639 --> 00:34:23,199
moment, you guys could have had
a, I'll say it, less positive

471
00:34:23,199 --> 00:34:28,639
response to that.
You describe that.

472
00:34:28,639 --> 00:34:31,239
This is, of course, a turning
point for you guys today.

473
00:34:31,239 --> 00:34:33,199
We're going to go to, we're
going to go to church.

474
00:34:33,199 --> 00:34:35,520
We're going to explore this,
right?

475
00:34:35,520 --> 00:34:38,040
There was clearly some degree of
openness of that.

476
00:34:39,080 --> 00:34:44,520
But at that moment, there could
have been nothing but closed

477
00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:50,560
space there.
What do you think is responsible

478
00:34:50,560 --> 00:34:53,920
for the openness at that time?
It's a really good question,

479
00:34:53,920 --> 00:35:00,480
Mike, one that I've never
actually thought about before.

480
00:35:08,450 --> 00:35:11,730
So what I'll say again for four
years later, right?

481
00:35:11,730 --> 00:35:14,490
So Amberley four years ago
doesn't have an answer to that

482
00:35:14,490 --> 00:35:19,890
question.
One of the things that I've

483
00:35:19,890 --> 00:35:26,010
learned through this journey,
when I look back at our life

484
00:35:26,650 --> 00:35:36,280
before we accepted Jesus, I can
see him so many moments of my

485
00:35:36,280 --> 00:35:44,560
life prior to this.
I see him in the hard moments of

486
00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:48,560
my life.
I see him chasing after me for

487
00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:55,560
the better part of 30 years and
so.

488
00:36:01,640 --> 00:36:03,960
I didn't, like I said before, I
didn't grow up in a Christian

489
00:36:03,960 --> 00:36:05,960
home.
As a matter of fact, you grew up

490
00:36:05,960 --> 00:36:09,960
in a very opposite situation
where we did not believe in that

491
00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:18,600
and that wasn't real.
And I think because I grew up in

492
00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:23,800
the opposite for a very long
time, whether I care to admit it

493
00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:29,400
or not, I was searching for
answers to things that didn't

494
00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:36,600
quite make sense.
So I, I wasn't a believer before

495
00:36:36,600 --> 00:36:41,120
Alice, but I do I, I definitely
was searching for something

496
00:36:41,760 --> 00:36:46,920
prior to that moment, something
to fill the void, to answer the

497
00:36:46,920 --> 00:36:50,800
why, to help me understand.
I mean, like the questions that

498
00:36:50,800 --> 00:36:52,880
I'm sure we hear all the time.
Why do bad things happen to good

499
00:36:52,880 --> 00:36:54,720
people?
Why it why?

500
00:36:54,720 --> 00:36:56,560
Why does the world operate this
way?

501
00:36:56,560 --> 00:36:58,920
How come this happens?
Why did I have to go through

502
00:36:58,920 --> 00:37:00,040
this thing?
Right?

503
00:37:00,680 --> 00:37:02,960
Yeah.
I'm no stranger to searching for

504
00:37:02,960 --> 00:37:12,800
answers to those questions.
And so when she woke up as fuck,

505
00:37:12,800 --> 00:37:17,080
the name of Jesus clear as day,
my husband and I both looked at

506
00:37:17,080 --> 00:37:20,360
each other and it was like there
is no other word that that could

507
00:37:20,360 --> 00:37:24,280
have been right.
She kept saying it over and over

508
00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:29,640
and over again.
Something somewhere in my heart

509
00:37:29,640 --> 00:37:38,040
and my soul, it clicked that
that thing right there that she

510
00:37:38,040 --> 00:37:41,920
said, I haven't explored that to
answer all those questions.

511
00:37:42,640 --> 00:37:45,920
I have been running on empty and
I've had no answers and I don't

512
00:37:45,920 --> 00:37:48,040
know what's going on.
And none of this makes sense

513
00:37:48,040 --> 00:37:55,320
before my infant child just woke
up from a coma declaring the

514
00:37:55,320 --> 00:37:59,160
name of Jesus.
And if I like, I'd like to think

515
00:37:59,160 --> 00:38:02,360
I'm a pretty smart human.
Like if I don't explore that,

516
00:38:02,360 --> 00:38:07,640
then I'm really doing a
disservice to our family and to

517
00:38:07,640 --> 00:38:14,920
this experience.
So I, I, I would, I would think

518
00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:18,640
that that's probably a lot of
how like to your point, right,

519
00:38:18,640 --> 00:38:24,120
we didn't just immediately shut
the door that it turned into

520
00:38:24,120 --> 00:38:28,120
that positive experience because
I was willing to explore

521
00:38:28,120 --> 00:38:34,080
something that I hadn't ever
explored before, just knowing in

522
00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:38,760
my subconscious that I've been
searching for answers for 30

523
00:38:38,760 --> 00:38:40,520
some odd years.
Right.

524
00:38:40,600 --> 00:38:44,160
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, thanks.

525
00:38:44,160 --> 00:38:48,280
Yeah.
Well, I want to rewind all the

526
00:38:48,280 --> 00:38:53,800
way to the beginning.
You heard a voice.

527
00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:57,600
Yeah.
Fibro seizure.

528
00:38:57,720 --> 00:39:02,480
Yeah.
Out loud in your head.

529
00:39:04,320 --> 00:39:09,160
Tell us about hearing the voice.
Yeah, so that's the darndest

530
00:39:09,160 --> 00:39:14,280
thing, isn't it?
So I was, I'm going to be very

531
00:39:14,280 --> 00:39:15,920
transparent.
I was, I was talking to my

532
00:39:15,920 --> 00:39:18,840
husband about this, like sharing
with him that, you know, I had

533
00:39:18,840 --> 00:39:21,760
the experience, the pleasure of
coming to talk to you and that

534
00:39:21,760 --> 00:39:23,400
this was all going to be
happening.

535
00:39:23,400 --> 00:39:26,320
And he and I were, of course,
you know, I don't know if you

536
00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:31,120
want to call it reminiscing, but
we were remembering right and

537
00:39:31,200 --> 00:39:33,560
talking with each other about
those experiences.

538
00:39:34,760 --> 00:39:38,760
And he asked the same question.
He was like, did you think fibro

539
00:39:38,760 --> 00:39:40,280
seizure?
Did you hear it?

540
00:39:40,280 --> 00:39:43,080
Like, what does?
Can you help me understand?

541
00:39:43,640 --> 00:39:46,880
And I was like, babe, I shut the
door.

542
00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:49,720
Like I'm walking out the door
after putting her in the crib.

543
00:39:49,760 --> 00:39:58,200
And as I click the door shut, I
hear fibro seizure.

544
00:39:58,200 --> 00:40:01,600
It's not loud, it's not a loud
voice, It's not like someone

545
00:40:01,600 --> 00:40:08,040
shouting fibril seizure at me,
but it was definitely a voice

546
00:40:08,040 --> 00:40:10,760
like I heard.
It's almost like someone was

547
00:40:10,760 --> 00:40:14,360
talking right next to me,
eyebrow seizure.

548
00:40:18,760 --> 00:40:23,240
And it only happened once, right
at the click, click fibril

549
00:40:23,240 --> 00:40:26,080
seizure.
And so I actioned that right.

550
00:40:26,280 --> 00:40:28,840
And this goes back to what I
said about him chasing me.

551
00:40:30,320 --> 00:40:37,560
Prior to the miracle, my pride
at the time told me, oh, you

552
00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:41,560
know what fibro seizure is?
You're you're, you're thinking

553
00:40:41,560 --> 00:40:45,840
of this word because of your
past trauma with your son.

554
00:40:46,320 --> 00:40:51,600
You came up with this.
So you go get her and go check

555
00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:59,600
on her.
That's not what happened, right?

556
00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:03,000
I can try to rationalize that
all day long.

557
00:41:04,160 --> 00:41:13,760
What happened is I heard a voice
say fibro seizure, and I felt

558
00:41:13,760 --> 00:41:18,800
convicted in my body to
immediately move and take

559
00:41:18,800 --> 00:41:20,560
action.
That's not normal either.

560
00:41:20,600 --> 00:41:23,120
OK, right.
Amberly says.

561
00:41:23,120 --> 00:41:25,760
Oh, that's feels weird.
Let me kind of figure that out

562
00:41:25,760 --> 00:41:28,760
for a second.
And let me ask some questions

563
00:41:28,760 --> 00:41:31,080
about that.
Nope, that's not what happened

564
00:41:31,080 --> 00:41:33,520
in that moment.
In that moment, I hear the voice

565
00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:38,000
and my body is compelled to
action.

566
00:41:38,720 --> 00:41:44,320
And I obeyed that voice, which
is definitely part of the

567
00:41:44,320 --> 00:41:46,480
radical transformation.
I'd love to sit here and tell

568
00:41:46,480 --> 00:41:48,560
you I've obeyed him every single
time.

569
00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:53,360
OK, I did in that moment, and
that's really important.

570
00:41:53,880 --> 00:41:58,960
It was definitely a voice, not
loud the right there.

571
00:42:00,560 --> 00:42:04,520
Yeah, Right on.
Thanks.

572
00:42:05,280 --> 00:42:06,880
Thanks for illuminating that for
us.

573
00:42:08,720 --> 00:42:13,920
Well, let's land the plane here
with the two questions that we

574
00:42:13,920 --> 00:42:18,000
ask all of our guests.
Amberly, the pretty good idea of

575
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:22,600
how you're going to respond to
this first one, but we ask it

576
00:42:22,600 --> 00:42:24,640
anyway because it's super
important.

577
00:42:25,480 --> 00:42:29,960
Was what you've described
coincidence or God?

578
00:42:33,920 --> 00:42:37,200
Praise be to God and glory to
God all day, every day.

579
00:42:37,920 --> 00:42:45,960
So absolutely our God, the
sovereign God of this universe,

580
00:42:46,160 --> 00:42:49,320
absolutely.
Without a doubt, every core of

581
00:42:49,320 --> 00:42:56,800
my being, it's God, Absolutely.
Yeah, right on.

582
00:42:58,160 --> 00:43:01,760
Well, you've certainly alluded
to and even given us some

583
00:43:01,760 --> 00:43:07,640
insight into how your life has
changed as a result of Alice

584
00:43:08,040 --> 00:43:12,760
awakening and saying Jesus and
transformations that have

585
00:43:12,760 --> 00:43:16,080
occurred and the additional
things that you've learned about

586
00:43:16,080 --> 00:43:21,040
her and all of that stuff.
But if there's anything else

587
00:43:21,040 --> 00:43:25,160
that you want to add to that, we
welcome to know more of how life

588
00:43:25,160 --> 00:43:27,400
has changed as a result of
everything.

589
00:43:27,880 --> 00:43:29,560
Sure, sure.
I appreciate that, Meg.

590
00:43:29,560 --> 00:43:34,320
I mean, if there's anything else
that I would want to share,

591
00:43:34,320 --> 00:43:38,400
that's been a really big
transformation for us as a

592
00:43:38,400 --> 00:43:40,360
family, right?
We, we are carrying, we're

593
00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:44,880
walking the, the life of, you
know, a child living with a

594
00:43:44,880 --> 00:43:51,800
disability and peace and
gratitude and compassion.

595
00:43:52,680 --> 00:43:56,400
That's huge.
And again, I'll talk all day

596
00:43:56,400 --> 00:43:59,120
about that.
The other thing that's been

597
00:43:59,120 --> 00:44:10,080
really big for me is because my
experience came later in life

598
00:44:10,360 --> 00:44:14,120
and I didn't have a Christian
background leading up to that.

599
00:44:18,160 --> 00:44:33,440
I find myself so humbled by the
Lord and so willing to discuss

600
00:44:33,440 --> 00:44:36,560
and talk about the hard things
with the people that I encounter

601
00:44:36,560 --> 00:44:46,280
every single day, right?
I think sometimes it can feel,

602
00:44:47,720 --> 00:44:51,640
especially in our church
setting, right when you're

603
00:44:51,640 --> 00:44:55,760
talking with fellow Christians,
it can feel easy to say, oh, you

604
00:44:55,760 --> 00:44:58,880
know, just lean on the Lord,
just trust the Lord, right?

605
00:44:58,880 --> 00:45:02,880
Just just in like there can be a
lot of platitudes about them,

606
00:45:05,840 --> 00:45:12,040
but having walked our particular
experience, we're able to have

607
00:45:14,240 --> 00:45:17,840
really wonderful conversations
with people who are asking a lot

608
00:45:17,840 --> 00:45:21,200
of questions.
God wants us to ask.

609
00:45:21,560 --> 00:45:24,960
He invites our questions.
He, like I said before, he is

610
00:45:24,960 --> 00:45:27,520
not afraid of the heart.
He is not afraid of our anger.

611
00:45:27,720 --> 00:45:30,680
He is not afraid of any emotion
that we have welling up inside

612
00:45:30,680 --> 00:45:35,120
of us, right?
And to learn and talk and

613
00:45:35,120 --> 00:45:39,800
explore engaging with him on
those questions is something

614
00:45:39,800 --> 00:45:43,000
that I've become very passionate
about.

615
00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:47,320
Because no matter where you're
coming from, right, whether you

616
00:45:47,320 --> 00:45:50,520
come from a religious background
or not, or you're asking

617
00:45:50,520 --> 00:45:58,120
questions, meeting people with
compassion and love and allowing

618
00:45:58,120 --> 00:46:01,400
them to open up and talk to you
and explore these things

619
00:46:01,400 --> 00:46:06,320
together.
It's beautiful.

620
00:46:06,320 --> 00:46:10,360
I have found so many connections
and relationships with people

621
00:46:10,360 --> 00:46:17,280
that I would have never been
blessed with had God not done

622
00:46:17,480 --> 00:46:20,800
what he's done and what he
continues to do every single

623
00:46:20,800 --> 00:46:26,280
day, right?
It's a really, it's a really

624
00:46:26,280 --> 00:46:30,160
beautiful transformation to see
that he's humbled me in a way

625
00:46:30,160 --> 00:46:35,120
that has allowed me to get a lot
more real with people quickly,

626
00:46:35,280 --> 00:46:40,400
right, and compassionately.
And I'm eternally grateful for

627
00:46:40,400 --> 00:46:45,640
that.
Yeah, wow, that's super neat it.

628
00:46:46,480 --> 00:46:48,680
Is super neat.
God's cool.

629
00:46:51,320 --> 00:46:54,760
IA 100% agree.
Yeah.

630
00:46:55,200 --> 00:46:58,680
Well, you talked a little bit
there in your response to that

631
00:46:58,680 --> 00:47:03,560
last question about exploring
things, some of these hard

632
00:47:03,560 --> 00:47:07,560
things with God.
OK, So how have you done that?

633
00:47:07,840 --> 00:47:09,320
Yeah, that's a really great
question.

634
00:47:09,320 --> 00:47:17,160
So, you know, like I said, Alice
lives with a rare degenerative

635
00:47:17,160 --> 00:47:22,360
progressive disease.
And so when we got that phone

636
00:47:22,360 --> 00:47:26,480
call, that's been a year now
since we got the phone call

637
00:47:26,480 --> 00:47:34,360
about her Kiff 1A diagnosis,
even in accepting Jesus, I still

638
00:47:34,360 --> 00:47:37,680
have questions, right?
Why?

639
00:47:40,160 --> 00:47:45,280
Like why KIF 1A?
Why degenerative progressive.

640
00:47:45,280 --> 00:47:48,840
I tell everyone don't Google it.
Whatever you do, do not Google

641
00:47:49,120 --> 00:47:55,720
KIF 1A OK, I did and I
immediately spiraled right.

642
00:47:56,040 --> 00:47:58,880
It tells you that the life
expectancy of a child with KIF

643
00:47:58,880 --> 00:48:04,080
1A is five to seven years old.
It's it's terrifying.

644
00:48:06,280 --> 00:48:11,680
And so again I see him working
right.

645
00:48:12,320 --> 00:48:15,080
Amberley four years ago would
have spiraled and been a shell

646
00:48:15,080 --> 00:48:16,800
of a human and riddled with
fear.

647
00:48:19,400 --> 00:48:26,880
When I got that phone call, I
was able to sit for a minute and

648
00:48:27,280 --> 00:48:31,280
again ask God, why, Why, like
why Kiff 1A and be sad and be

649
00:48:31,280 --> 00:48:36,680
scared and be angry, right?
Bitter even.

650
00:48:36,680 --> 00:48:42,440
Why my baby?
Why but God?

651
00:48:42,440 --> 00:48:45,960
But because I am filled with the
Holy Spirit and because He is so

652
00:48:45,960 --> 00:48:49,120
good, and because He is near to
the broken hearted and He is not

653
00:48:49,120 --> 00:48:55,240
afraid to meet us right where
we're at, I have been able to

654
00:48:55,640 --> 00:49:02,440
pray and talk to Him.
And I am now able to see she is

655
00:49:02,440 --> 00:49:06,480
our unique snowflake.
She is one of one.

656
00:49:06,480 --> 00:49:10,240
She is the only child with
kefoin A of her specific

657
00:49:10,360 --> 00:49:14,120
mutation.
I don't know what that means,

658
00:49:14,320 --> 00:49:18,320
only He does.
And the liberation that comes

659
00:49:18,320 --> 00:49:21,880
from knowing that I don't need
to know the answer, right?

660
00:49:21,920 --> 00:49:25,240
It's not for me to know.
My job is to love her.

661
00:49:25,480 --> 00:49:29,520
My job is to love her, to care
for her, to show her Jesus.

662
00:49:30,440 --> 00:49:33,720
My job is to get in with that
KIFF 1A community and realize

663
00:49:33,720 --> 00:49:36,800
that, Oh my gosh, what a
blessing, right?

664
00:49:36,800 --> 00:49:41,480
We are one of 600 people.
But that community is vibrant,

665
00:49:41,640 --> 00:49:44,520
it is active.
They are talking to each other,

666
00:49:44,800 --> 00:49:47,000
right?
There's research happening in

667
00:49:47,000 --> 00:49:51,120
Boston.
Not every diagnosis has that.

668
00:49:52,280 --> 00:49:56,880
And to continue to just pour out
my heart to him and ask him

669
00:49:56,880 --> 00:50:00,680
those questions.
I realize that when I do that

670
00:50:02,360 --> 00:50:03,960
he's not, he's going to answer
me.

671
00:50:03,960 --> 00:50:06,560
It may not be the answer that I
hope for, right?

672
00:50:06,720 --> 00:50:09,640
Rarely is rarely the answer that
I want.

673
00:50:10,160 --> 00:50:17,400
But he answers and he shows up
and I'm able to see that, gosh,

674
00:50:19,320 --> 00:50:22,560
walking with him and getting
answers that I don't want is so

675
00:50:22,600 --> 00:50:26,920
much better.
So much better than the woman I

676
00:50:26,920 --> 00:50:29,720
was sitting as a shell riddled
with fear.

677
00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:37,200
I will trade that for this all
day, every day, for eternity,

678
00:50:38,720 --> 00:50:40,840
right?
So much better.

679
00:50:43,760 --> 00:50:46,960
Yeah, praise God.
Praise God.

680
00:50:49,480 --> 00:50:56,520
Well, last question is baby #3
yes, everything went OK.

681
00:50:56,720 --> 00:51:02,920
Yeah, so God is great baby #3
actually was born with cleft lip

682
00:51:02,920 --> 00:51:07,400
and palate.
So another, I mean, difficult,

683
00:51:07,400 --> 00:51:11,400
but I'll tell you what, he went
through three surgeries in his

684
00:51:11,400 --> 00:51:13,680
first year.
He's speech delayed.

685
00:51:13,680 --> 00:51:15,920
We do the therapies, we do the
things.

686
00:51:16,440 --> 00:51:21,080
That's hard.
We're walking that hard with

687
00:51:21,080 --> 00:51:28,720
Jesus and we will not be shaken.
It is OK.

688
00:51:29,040 --> 00:51:31,800
God saw him through his
surgeries, right?

689
00:51:32,280 --> 00:51:36,480
Praise God for that.
We are.

690
00:51:38,200 --> 00:51:41,040
All three of our children live
with additional needs and

691
00:51:41,040 --> 00:51:48,040
varying capacities.
That's a whole separate podcast

692
00:51:48,080 --> 00:51:53,880
about God's goodness in that
walk and seeing His hand and how

693
00:51:53,880 --> 00:51:57,160
He created those babies and how
they are perfect and fearfully

694
00:51:57,160 --> 00:51:59,080
and wonderfully made in His
image.

695
00:52:02,400 --> 00:52:06,320
So baby #3 came and he's great
and He's perfect and we went

696
00:52:06,320 --> 00:52:08,280
through a roller coaster with
him too.

697
00:52:08,640 --> 00:52:11,840
And God was there the entire way
and continues to be.

698
00:52:12,000 --> 00:52:15,600
Praise Jesus.
Yes indeed.

699
00:52:17,760 --> 00:52:25,960
Wow Amberly, thank you.
Thanks for your honesty, thanks

700
00:52:25,960 --> 00:52:28,400
for you for sharing the
challenges.

701
00:52:28,960 --> 00:52:30,840
Thanks for sharing the goodness
of God.

702
00:52:31,960 --> 00:52:36,880
And for those that are
listening, meaning not the ones

703
00:52:36,880 --> 00:52:40,920
watching.
Man your smile and how you light

704
00:52:40,920 --> 00:52:45,240
up when you talk about the King.
It's so neat.

705
00:52:46,280 --> 00:52:48,880
He's so good.
He's so good.

706
00:52:48,880 --> 00:52:53,120
It's, it's like I said, it's a
radical transformation.

707
00:52:54,640 --> 00:52:56,240
Praise.
God, Amen.

708
00:52:56,640 --> 00:52:59,480
Yeah, thank you so much for
being on When You Look.

709
00:53:00,000 --> 00:53:02,320
Been a real pleasure.
Looking forward to chatting

710
00:53:02,320 --> 00:53:04,280
soon.
Thank you so much.

711
00:53:04,280 --> 00:53:11,000
Thank you.
Was it coincidence or God?

712
00:53:11,480 --> 00:53:16,240
You decide for yourself, but I
believe you just heard a story

713
00:53:16,240 --> 00:53:20,200
for His glory.
When You Look is powered by

714
00:53:20,200 --> 00:53:23,760
stories just like this and yours
could be next.

715
00:53:24,120 --> 00:53:28,360
Go to whenyoulook.com/be a guest
or use the link in the

716
00:53:28,360 --> 00:53:32,320
description below.
Drop us a comment and share this

717
00:53:32,320 --> 00:53:34,440
episode with somebody that needs
it.

718
00:53:35,000 --> 00:53:39,200
Until next time, thanks a bunch
for listening and watching, and

719
00:53:39,200 --> 00:53:40,040
God bless.