Heartbreak, Long Waiting, & Restoration | Cathy Garland | 047
From devastating heartbreak and deep loss… to long waiting… and finally to powerful restoration—this is a story only God could write.
In this unforgettable episode of When You Look, Mick sits down with Cathy Colver Garland, a woman whose life journey includes divorce, betrayal, miscarriage, years of waiting, and ultimately the redemptive faithfulness of God. Cathy opens up about discovering her husband’s addiction on their honeymoon, losing a child, waiting over a decade for God’s promise, and how God met her in the deepest places of pain with supernatural comfort, vision, and hope.
This is not a polished highlight reel. It’s the real road—through suffering, disappointment, unanswered prayers, and the moments where God seemed silent… until He wasn’t.
If you’ve ever wondered:
• Is God still working when nothing is changing?
• What do you do when waiting hurts?
• Can God truly restore what was broken?
…this conversation is for you.
Cathy’s testimony will strengthen your faith, stir your hope, and remind you that delay is not denial—and restoration is never out of God’s reach.
👉 Watch to the end for one of the most powerful reflections on waiting, healing, and trusting God’s character you’ll hear.
👉 Check out Cathy's Books: https://www.amazon.com/stores/Cathy-Garland/author/B0DB3F75JW?ref=ap_rdr&shoppingPortalEnabled=true&ccs_id=2c921d89-70f2-4c03-9e41-0f868f910a26
Indiana Jones Clip https://youtu.be/sBBbq2g7yf8?si=ee0d314D0HuWz3vI
When You Look Links
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Chapters
0:30 - Meet Cathy Garland
2:36 - Backstory
5:52 - First Marriage
7:50 - Life After Divorce
11:02 - Healing From Miscarriage
13:59 - Trying to Make it Work
17:00 - The In Between
24:14 - Meeting Her Now Husband
29:21 - Turning In
35:35 - Defining Grace
40:49 - Josiah Defined in a Vision
46:52 - Waiting With Expectancy
50:45 - Coincidence or God?
52:41 - How Has Your Life Changed?
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One of the things I knew was
that I was not so special that I
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was going to be the first person
he let down, or the first person
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he promised something to and
didn't come through for, or the
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first person that he lied to, or
the first person that he failed.
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I'm not that special for the God
of the universe for the very
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first time to drop the ball with
me.
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Welcome to When You Look, where
ordinary people share their
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extraordinary experiences and
you get to decide, was it
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coincidence or God?
Kathy, welcome to When You Look.
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We are delighted to have you on
the show, truly.
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I'm excited.
I'm really excited.
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This is.
I can't wait to get to it.
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Me as well.
So we've got to hold our horses
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for just a second though,
because while your story is
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amazing and outstanding, we have
to get to know you a little bit.
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So tell us a little bit about
yourself.
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You know, my mission is to help
women rediscover who they are,
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who God sees them, that he knows
them, that he's revealing
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himself, pursuing their hearts.
And so to that end, I'm a
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mother, I'm a wife, I'm a
teacher of the Bible.
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I would call myself a Bible
nerd, you know, self-described
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Bible nerd, Hebrew nerd.
You can throw that in there too,
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because there's nothing more
interesting than figuring that
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out.
And so I'm always teaching, I'm
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always writing, I write books, I
speak to women's groups, I lead
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Bible studies, talk about
revival.
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I call myself a revival watcher.
I'm a suffering coach.
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So if someone is suffering or
has been through suffering,
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they'll send them to me and say,
hey, go to Kathy, she'll help
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you through suffering.
So all those things together,
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basically to help that mission
come to pass, which is to help
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women see themselves the way God
sees them, and to know beyond a
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shadow of a doubt that he is
pursuing them.
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Yeah.
And I think what we're going to
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hear is how the trials in your
life have really brought you to
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this particular mission.
Is that a fair assessment?
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Fair assessment.
You can't be a suffering coach
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if you haven't suffered.
Yeah, well, I think that's awful
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to hear.
I had to pause there for a
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second and think about what did
I want to say, right.
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But we know that God works for
good, so he's got all of that.
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So I think that's a great
foreshadow.
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And let's let's jump right into
things.
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So give us some back story and
then start to walk us through
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life as it went for you.
You know, I grew up in church
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and I followed the Lord as well
as I could until I was about 13.
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Then I sort of deconstructed and
then reconstructed and built a
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faith that was alive and was
more based on what I had proven
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to myself over and over again
rather than my parents, you
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know, story and my parents
religion, though I love and
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honor my parents walk with God
because it was their authentic
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with God that made it possible
for me to do that in the safety
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of the home.
I was homeschooled.
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I know your kids are
homeschooled.
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I had plenty of opportunity to
ask a zillion questions and, and
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I was able to question
everything without them getting
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upset, you know, so that helped.
And as I built my faith back, I
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met a man very young.
I was, it was in the purity
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culture, you know, we, we got
married young.
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We, we did the true love weights
thing and that didn't work out.
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And so 4 1/2 years later, my
first husband divorced me.
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And during that time, I had lost
a child in miscarriage.
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After that, I met another man
who I loved, and he broke up
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with me three times.
We can talk about that.
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Another time he went after this
woman that he thought was a
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woman of his dreams and broke my
heart.
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And I had to cling to who God
was.
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And sometimes that involved
sitting down at my desk or
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kneeling at my desk and getting
enough from the Holy Spirit to
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actually answer emails or go to
a meeting or something like
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that, and then running out and
then going back to my office,
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shutting my door and doing it
again.
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Like it was hard.
He broke my heart.
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But then I later married him.
So that's a story.
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And I lost a child in
miscarriage during that first.
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That's the first marriage and
the second marriage.
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And then I waited 10 years for
the birth of my son and, and I
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have broken my neck twice, not
once, twice.
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I mean, most people, they're
like, oh, I broke my neck once.
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And that's like, oh, that's
pretty good.
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No, I broke it twice.
You know, so, and in any of
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these things that I just
mentioned, it's, it's kind of a
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list.
The key thing that I want people
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to take away from it is that God
held me through it all and he
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defined the circumstances
differently than everybody else
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defined them.
So believing him, God, who God
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says I was over the lies that my
circumstances seem to shout or
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the gossips and slanders who
wanted to know the whole story
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of why I'm divorced.
And I was the first one divorced
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out of the entire church, I'm
pretty sure.
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So I didn't have anybody to lean
on.
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And it was definitely new and
weird.
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And I'm, I mean, who wants to be
a trailblazer of that, right?
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So all those kinds of things.
But what made the difference was
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knowing God and being known by
God.
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Those kept me.
Yeah.
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Well, let's explore all of that
a little bit more because there
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are for sure plenty of
listeners, whether male or
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female, that are either
divorced, divorced and
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remarried, sometimes more than
once and or others that feel
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like their marriage is on the
brink of all of that.
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And what you're describing is
tremendous heartache, but also
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relationship with with God via
the Holy Spirit.
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That was transformative.
So help us understand like maybe
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in that let's just focus on that
first marriage and, and things
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falling apart and the divorce
and all of that stuff like give
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us more color there.
Yeah, so when you grow up at
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church, I think you sort of
imbibe this understanding,
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probably from Proverbs, that if
you do things well, do things
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right, that you'll somehow end
up with the good life, white
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pick a fence, chickens, kids,
the whole thing.
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And that's not always true, and
it wasn't true for me.
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My first husband told me on our
honeymoon night that he was
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addicted to pornography and that
he didn't want to have children.
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Now, he had told me he wanted
10, and I married him because I
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wanted 10.
And here was a man who said he
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wanted 10.
And on our honeymoon night, he
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told me he was addicted to
pornography and he didn't want
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to have children and never want
to talk about it again.
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So it went downhill from there,
basically.
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And I tried and tried for years
to work on it, taking to
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counselling and all sorts of
different things.
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But Paul says that when someone
who doesn't want to serve the
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Lord wants to go, you let them
go.
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And I had to let him go.
So I called up my father and I
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said this is what's happening, I
suspect more than once adultery.
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And my dad said out, he said,
I'm coming to get you right now.
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And he did.
And I left a lot of things
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behind.
I didn't care about them.
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My dad said we're just leaving
now because your safety is of
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most concern to me.
And we even tried after that,
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but it just didn't work out.
And the next thing you knew, I
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was divorced.
And I was divorced took several
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years.
It took a long time to heal.
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As I mentioned, I was first, so
there wasn't a whole lot of
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help.
There were older people who were
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divorced after many, many, many,
many years of marriage, but not
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younger people.
Nowadays we call them trial
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marriages.
This is a thing that happens
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and, you know, there wasn't a
whole lot of help and healing
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and counselling that I was able
to avail myself of, but that
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drove me to get that kind of
training so that I could turn
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around and hand it to other
people.
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And so through that, and, and I
think, you know, one of the
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things I mentioned was a
miscarriage that was towards the
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end of the marriage.
And it was a heartbreaking
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moment.
And I was surrounded by women
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who were encouraging me.
They're saying things like this
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is normal.
We've all been through it.
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You know, we'll help you through
it, which is fine words to say.
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There's nothing wrong with that,
but it didn't take me to the
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traumatic healing, the trauma
healing that I needed.
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So later the Lord took me
through the healing.
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He took me years and years
later, I was at a beach house
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and we were talking about
revival and talking about God.
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My whole family was there.
My new husband was there.
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And I felt like the Lord was
trying to draw me away to speak
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with me.
And so I went up to my room and
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I just laid down and he said, I
want you to name the son that
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you lost.
Up until that time, I didn't
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even know he was a son.
I didn't know he was a male.
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And I said, oh, OK.
Lord, what?
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What?
What's his name like?
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I don't have a name for him.
We never discussed a name.
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And he showed me a name.
It was Aiden.
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And it means little fire.
And I didn't know that at the
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time, but I got just a glimpse
of this smiling face with red
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hair.
My first husband had lots and
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lots of red hair.
And Aiden, meaning little fire,
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was a perfect name for him.
And I just had this sense of,
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OK, God has him, he's growing up
in heaven.
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I don't know if you can preach
that from the pulpit or not, but
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that's what I got.
And that he was learning and
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growing in stature in heaven.
And then I released that pain.
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Up until that point, the whole
that was there had not been
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dealt with.
I just went on because that's
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what you do.
And it wasn't until God put His
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finger on it and said, we're
going to deal with this at the
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right time that He healed up for
me.
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And I look forward to seeing him
someday.
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Yeah, Kathy, thank you for
sharing about Aiden and I'm
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sorry for your loss.
Thank you.
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Yeah, absolutely.
Let's explore all this a tiny
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bit more too, because there's,
there's a, there's a lot here
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that I think can be really
wonderful for our listeners to
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better understand because you
talked about the whole not being
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dealt with until God kind of put
his, You push your thumb up for
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that.
Tell us a little bit more about
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perhaps maybe why it wasn't yet
dealt with.
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And maybe if you have any
insight into why it then became
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time from God's perspective that
now we're going to deal with
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this.
That's a good point.
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You know, from his perspective
is the right time.
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But it was also, I didn't
realize as I look back, it was
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around the time that I lost him
several years later, like
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something like 11 or 12 years
later.
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So that's a significant time.
So I don't know, I didn't keep
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track.
So miscarriage is different than
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still birth, which is different
than losing a child who's been
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running around.
All are hard and I'm sure all
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are too hard to bear for anyone.
I would never compare.
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But the thing about miscarriage
is you don't get to mourn the
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same way, not really.
Like if if someone has a little
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toddler running around and that
toddler dies, everybody mourns
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00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:01,160
with you.
There's a lot of space to talk
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about it.
People are going to bring you
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food and check on you and make
sure your body is recuperating
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and you're doing the processes
of mourning.
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When you lose a miscarriage, you
don't have the joy that you had,
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even if it was a small window of
time.
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You lose all the dreams before
they happen.
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You don't get to really talk
about it.
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Most women I meet have lost at
least one child, if not more
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than one, and they don't get
together and talk about
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miscarriage.
It's a thing that's swept under
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the rug.
I even know people who don't
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announce the birth until a
certain point because they don't
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want to announce it.
There's a chance of miscarriage
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up until that point.
I don't believe in that.
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I celebrate life from the moment
I know about it.
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And even if that life, you know,
develops only so far in in my
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belly, my thinking is that when
we hide miscarriages and sweep
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them under the rug and don't
give our bodies the space to
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heal and our emotions to heal.
And even if we didn't know about
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the pregnancy, the hopes and
dreams that we had that we
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didn't even know we had died.
And there has to be space for
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that to heal.
Now I walk people through
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healing processes after they've
lost a child or had an abortion
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even, because in a sense there's
a need to address the person who
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isn't there.
Because as Christians we know
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that that is a person, an entity
with a whole set of DNA,
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personality, God-given talents,
dreams, etcetera that they
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hadn't a chance to envelope.
It's a real person.
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And a miscarriage doesn't really
always give you the chance to
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acknowledge that.
And I hate that for women, I
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really do.
Yeah, yeah, I certainly track
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with you on so much of that.
So thank you for illuminating
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all of that.
So what was it like for you?
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00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:10,120
Again, we're still focusing on
this first marriage.
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There's so much more for us to
cover, too.
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So we won't stay here forever.
But you really have have, I
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think, struck a nerve in a lot
of ways potentially with our
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listeners here.
So you experienced A dramatic
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shift on your honeymoon night,
you know, your wedding night and
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your husband.
And then as you mentioned, you
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00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:38,440
still were married for another 4
1/2 years.
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And it sounds like where you
endeavored to really make things
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work.
So I guess give us a little bit
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more insight into your endeavors
there.
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00:14:51,560 --> 00:14:54,080
You were certainly alluding to
some of them, but also then how
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00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:59,680
you got to the point of where it
was clear this needs to now end.
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00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:08,480
You know, I think I tried over
and over again to regrow hope.
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00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:16,360
Whatever that took, whether it
was counselling or going through
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00:15:16,360 --> 00:15:21,040
a period of time where you've
almost forget what was said, you
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00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:25,920
try to get along.
You're, you're actually dealing
256
00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:28,560
with a different person than you
thought you were.
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00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:34,080
And that takes time.
And then I tried to get him
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00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:38,240
accountability, tried to plug in
more to the church, tried to
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lead by example, nagged him to
death about taking meds.
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You know, I, I tried it all and
it wasn't working.
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00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:51,720
And I think when I knew was when
I lost the first child in that
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marriage, when I lost the
miscarriage of the baby.
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00:15:54,800 --> 00:16:00,760
He said he was so relieved.
I could see his shoulders drop
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and his head drop.
And he said I am so sad for you,
265
00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:09,840
but glad that you lost a child
because we cannot have children.
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00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:13,480
That's what he said.
And it just trampled over
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00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:16,920
anything that I had been able to
build up into that point.
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00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:21,360
And I just knew it was over.
I, I knew that you can't always.
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God can resurrect anything, but
as a human, you can't resurrect
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00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:28,960
a whole lot of things.
There's only so many things that
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you can tend to and do your best
to, water and sunshine and
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00:16:34,120 --> 00:16:35,920
everything else.
And if it's not going to grow,
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it's not going to grow.
And so I knew at that point, but
274
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I did wait until I had what we
would call biblical reasons.
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00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:46,920
Though now I have learned that
my more conservative background
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00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:50,040
might not be correct in those
areas, that there may be a whole
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00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:52,240
lot more reasons than I
realized.
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00:16:52,280 --> 00:16:55,600
Biblical reasons for diverse.
But I did wait for biblical
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00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:58,000
reasons.
And that's when I called my dad
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00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:02,760
and he got me out of there.
Yeah, yeah, I know this isn't
281
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:05,160
necessarily the easiest thing to
chat about, so I really
282
00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:08,319
appreciate the fact that you
were willing to go there and
283
00:17:08,319 --> 00:17:10,319
give us a little bit more
insight into that.
284
00:17:11,079 --> 00:17:14,400
So then there's this period of
time, I'll call it a period of
285
00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:18,839
in between, meaning from divorce
to remarriage.
286
00:17:19,240 --> 00:17:23,319
And I suspect that your
relationship with God was active
287
00:17:23,319 --> 00:17:26,040
at that point.
Tell us what that was like.
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00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:32,400
I think I would call that the
survival period because when you
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00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:36,960
get out of something like that,
you go into a bit of shell shock
290
00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:40,680
bubble, if you will, and your
goal is to survive.
291
00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:44,480
It is not to thrive.
That is like not even on your
292
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:45,360
radar.
OK.
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00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:48,800
On the list is the things that
will cause you to survive.
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00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:52,360
Eat, put 1 foot forward in front
of the other, you know, these
295
00:17:52,360 --> 00:17:54,880
kinds of things.
I was working at the church, so
296
00:17:54,880 --> 00:17:59,280
I was on staff there and they
were very kind and I'm sure I
297
00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:02,640
was not the best assistant.
I was an assistant to the senior
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00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:05,600
pastor at the time.
I can recall making some pretty
299
00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:10,640
big mistakes during that period
of time, but I also struggled
300
00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:16,240
with feeling decommissioned.
You know, when you get married
301
00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:18,960
and you have dreams.
My first husband, by the way,
302
00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:23,920
was an excellent evangelist.
He had an anointing that oozed
303
00:18:23,920 --> 00:18:25,600
out of him.
He would go into the grocery
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00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:29,200
store when he was not serving
God, and he could lead people to
305
00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:31,880
the Lord.
It was crazy, like it was nuts,
306
00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:37,480
and you just knew that God was
given him something special if
307
00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:41,600
he'd use it.
When you see the death of what
308
00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:47,360
you could have been together,
die, then you wonder what's left
309
00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:50,120
for me.
It's not like I had an identity
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00:18:50,120 --> 00:18:54,920
in him per SE, but I definitely
had an idea of ministering
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00:18:54,920 --> 00:18:57,120
together and what that would
look like.
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00:18:57,600 --> 00:19:01,400
And certainly now I'm in this
situation where, you know, it's
313
00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:05,000
a little scandalous.
Am I decommissioned because of
314
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:09,560
this scandal that I had to walk
through?
315
00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:12,320
And they were people who wanted
to know everything, all the
316
00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:14,400
details.
And let me tell your listeners,
317
00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:17,880
people are not entitled to the
full story.
318
00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:20,760
You can give them only what they
need to know.
319
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:23,480
And some people don't need to
know anything.
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00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:26,560
OK, that's for a freebie.
We'll just put that out.
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00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:31,400
But I learned that you know, and
here I am.
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00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:36,040
So I got married when I was just
shy of 18 and divorced 4 1/2
323
00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:38,760
years later.
I am not yet a full grown adult
324
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:41,960
if you ask me.
Looking back, I do not feel that
325
00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:43,440
I was actually a full grown
adult.
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00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:46,880
All right.
So I'm surviving, I'm doing the
327
00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:51,080
things that you do, such as the
devotions in the morning, but
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00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:54,200
it's dead.
There's no presence, there's no
329
00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:58,480
thriving, there's no worship is
because I know I have to do it
330
00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:01,760
to stay alive.
I'm reading my Bible because I
331
00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:05,320
know I need it, though it's not
going all the way in, I
332
00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:07,080
guarantee it.
You know, it's not being
333
00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:12,080
transformative at all.
It is just doing the discipline
334
00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:16,960
that I knew I had to do.
And still questioning what is
335
00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:19,160
next for me.
I don't even know if there is a
336
00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:21,680
next.
Like do I go off and just become
337
00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:25,880
a nothing to God because this is
not the original plan.
338
00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:28,000
Like these are the questions you
wrestle with.
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00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:33,240
And luckily I had a wonderful
pastor's wife who kept bringing
340
00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:36,720
me alongside and she kept
bringing me alongside.
341
00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:40,160
And sometimes I don't want to be
there at all because I would
342
00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:42,880
just let me go do my work
because I need just focus.
343
00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:46,320
And she would bring me in to
minister to interns, lay hands
344
00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:49,320
on them and pray for them.
In our tradition, that's very
345
00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:51,840
common.
You do that, you know, if you if
346
00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:53,240
you sneeze, somebody lays hands
on you.
347
00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:55,920
So we were laying hands on them
and blessing them.
348
00:20:55,920 --> 00:21:00,800
And I was grumbling in my mind
one time and I was like, I don't
349
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:02,280
want to be here.
This is not me.
350
00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:04,520
I don't know what I'm supposed
to be doing here.
351
00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:07,000
And the holy, I said, Holy
Spirit, what's am I supposed to
352
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:09,040
pray?
And the Holy Spirit said, pray
353
00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:11,880
James over him.
So I had James memorized at
354
00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:13,160
least the first couple of
chapters.
355
00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:15,920
So I began to pray James over
this person.
356
00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:19,240
He fell over like I never, I
don't lay hands on people and
357
00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:21,680
then fall over.
Like, I know people push people
358
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:24,920
down, and I know people who
don't push people down.
359
00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:27,640
They're legit.
But I'm not one of those people
360
00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:28,800
either.
One, OK.
361
00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:32,880
And this guy, he fell over and
he said to me, he said that is
362
00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:35,560
the most heavy I've ever felt
the presence of God.
363
00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:40,040
And I was like, whoa, I knew
what my internal dialogue was.
364
00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:44,080
I was like, God, out of all the
time I've been serving you 20
365
00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:46,920
something years here.
This is the first time anything
366
00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:50,240
like this has happened.
And it comes the day I'm
367
00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:53,320
grumbling to you and you just
tell me to say, James over this
368
00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:57,240
part really.
And the Lord spoke to me and he
369
00:21:57,240 --> 00:22:00,560
said in your weakness, I am
strong.
370
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:03,400
And I said, OK, you're right,
you're so right.
371
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:09,160
So things like that continued to
happen until I went away to a
372
00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:14,240
youth camp as a helper, not as a
youth, but as a helper.
373
00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:17,840
And I was going through the
worship and but it was great.
374
00:22:17,840 --> 00:22:19,560
Worship always is at camp,
right?
375
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:22,960
And the speaker, I don't even
remember who he was.
376
00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:26,800
He was coming up the stairs as
we were turning around to grab
377
00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:30,440
our Bibles off the chair and sit
down, you know, and I was on the
378
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:33,120
front row.
I always sit on the front row.
379
00:22:33,120 --> 00:22:37,000
I'm the front row person.
And he said you, oh, first of
380
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:41,480
all, I grabbed my stuff.
I said to myself, OK, Lord, I
381
00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:44,040
can hear from you now.
Up until this point, maybe a
382
00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:47,880
year, year and a half, I'm not
hearing God, there's no that's
383
00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:50,320
not functioning.
And I yeah, there's a lot of
384
00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:52,520
resistance in you, it sounds
like.
385
00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:55,720
Absolute.
Well, it's not resistance so
386
00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:58,560
much as you're shut down.
That part of you is shut down.
387
00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:03,200
And so I turned around, plopped
my bum on the seat, and that
388
00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:06,400
leader said, you God wants to
speak to you right now.
389
00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:11,080
And I was like, OK.
And then he prophesied to me
390
00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:13,800
things that only I knew in my
heart.
391
00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:16,360
And I was like, OK.
And it was a part of a
392
00:23:16,360 --> 00:23:19,160
recommission.
Like, there is a future for you.
393
00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:26,640
And that was a necessary moment.
Yeah, probably a dramatic shift
394
00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:28,400
for you, but I don't want to put
words in your mouth.
395
00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:32,080
What was that like?
It recommissioned me, I would
396
00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:35,880
say, because when you're in that
place of I don't know, am IA
397
00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:38,800
lost cause am I, do I have a
ministry?
398
00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:43,200
Do I have a mission anymore?
He spoke and he recommissioned
399
00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:45,480
me.
He said all the things that my
400
00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:48,240
heart desired.
You will do these things.
401
00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:52,400
I have not abandoned you, which
I, I knew he hadn't, but it's,
402
00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:56,800
it's nice to be reminded and I
still am calling you and you
403
00:23:56,800 --> 00:23:59,800
still have work to do.
And I have predestined you for
404
00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:02,840
the good works.
You know the scripture that says
405
00:24:02,840 --> 00:24:04,160
that.
And it did.
406
00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:06,520
It relaunched me back into
things.
407
00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:09,760
And I began to come alive from
that moment again because during
408
00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:12,880
that time I was very dormant.
Now I was coming back to life.
409
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:15,440
Yeah.
And you said this is roughly a
410
00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:17,680
year and a half or so post
divorce, right?
411
00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:24,240
Yes.
Yeah, So what happens leading up
412
00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:31,400
to meeting your now husband?
I was serving at church 6-7 days
413
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:35,720
a week, but was just all in.
I was there in charge of so many
414
00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:39,520
different ministries and things,
marketing, media.
415
00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:43,920
I was there for three services,
one on Saturday, 2:00 on Sunday,
416
00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:47,360
1:00 on Sunday night, Wednesday
night, Thursday practice.
417
00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:50,680
You know, I threw myself into it
because these are my people and
418
00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:54,120
I, I trusted them.
And even though I knew a lot of
419
00:24:54,120 --> 00:24:57,120
their, you know, mistakes or
foibles or whatever, I loved
420
00:24:57,120 --> 00:25:00,320
them and trusted them.
And so in the middle of all that
421
00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:02,840
serving, it would have been
almost impossible to date.
422
00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:05,280
That's how busy I was.
And I did not date.
423
00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:08,360
I think somebody fixed me up
with someone and I went out on a
424
00:25:08,360 --> 00:25:10,080
dinner date and that was a
disaster.
425
00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:14,240
I am not a dateable person.
I get, I'm going to slip all the
426
00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:17,720
fluff, all the small talk.
We're going to be talking about
427
00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:19,760
the big things of life pretty
quickly.
428
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:22,240
And so it's not really dating
material.
429
00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:24,800
So that went very well.
Not, not very well.
430
00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:28,680
And so I was serving and I
walked out one day.
431
00:25:28,680 --> 00:25:32,040
I slept in because I didn't have
to be there early, early 5:30 in
432
00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:33,440
the morning.
I think I was getting there at
433
00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:37,200
like 9.
And so I felt leisurely able to
434
00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:40,680
get ready, walked out to my car
and there's this blonde man
435
00:25:40,680 --> 00:25:45,320
standing there, 6 foot four.
And he's got his big heavy Bible
436
00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:47,040
in his arms.
So I know he's a Christian.
437
00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:50,920
And I said, oh, hello.
I said, are you headed to
438
00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:52,960
church?
And he said, yes, you must be
439
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:54,520
headed to church, too.
I had my Bible.
440
00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:57,440
And I said, yes, I'm going to
Atlanta City Church, which is
441
00:25:57,440 --> 00:25:59,200
the name of the church.
And he said, oh, that's where I
442
00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:02,280
go.
So when you have that many
443
00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:03,960
services, you don't meet
everybody.
444
00:26:04,280 --> 00:26:07,480
And I said, well, that's my
dad's church.
445
00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:09,160
I go there, too.
I'll see you there.
446
00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:12,920
And so for him, it was, I think,
a normal meeting.
447
00:26:12,920 --> 00:26:17,720
But for me, the clouds had
parted, the birds were singing,
448
00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:21,000
the sun was shining.
I don't know any other way.
449
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:22,840
It was a very Disney moment for
me.
450
00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:26,640
And I was like, that's weird.
I'm not normally a sentimental
451
00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:30,440
Disney kind of person.
And so I met him again at
452
00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:34,680
church, smiled, waved, and he
went to one O 1 through 4 O1,
453
00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:36,480
which is like this membership
class.
454
00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:41,200
I was a part of that because I
was handling it, the details of
455
00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:48,320
it, and within about a few
weeks, we went on a date.
456
00:26:48,360 --> 00:26:52,320
I asked him on the first date.
That's a crazy thing and but it
457
00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:55,400
wasn't meant to be a date.
I asked him to go to a party, a
458
00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:57,360
birthday party with me at a
restaurant.
459
00:26:57,520 --> 00:27:00,440
We got lost in Atlanta.
I couldn't find the place that
460
00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:04,600
it was, so we just ate.
So that was our gotcha.
461
00:27:05,120 --> 00:27:07,960
That's kind of a precursor to my
life too, because I get lost
462
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:10,520
very easily and he knows that
about me.
463
00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:14,600
So you know, it was for me it
was love at first sight kind of
464
00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:17,360
thing.
But I also sensed 2 things about
465
00:27:17,360 --> 00:27:20,040
him.
One, that he was trustworthy and
466
00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:22,000
two, that he was not addicted to
pornography.
467
00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:25,680
If you've lived with
pornography, you can detect it
468
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:29,040
in people.
And I could detect that he did
469
00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:32,760
not have that spirit and a
spirit of lust or anything like
470
00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:36,320
that.
And so within the first date,
471
00:27:37,600 --> 00:27:41,480
after the first date, so again,
not dating material, I told him
472
00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:44,320
that I was ready to get married
and he could let me know when he
473
00:27:44,320 --> 00:27:48,400
was ready, which I don't
recommend.
474
00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:54,000
Very forward there.
I know, no, I don't recommend
475
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:57,600
it.
However, this guy had dated
476
00:27:57,600 --> 00:28:01,600
about 200 Christian women in his
lifetime, later found out, loved
477
00:28:01,600 --> 00:28:05,120
him and he was very pure, didn't
do anything with them beyond
478
00:28:05,120 --> 00:28:07,200
kiss them.
He was like Seinfeld.
479
00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:09,160
He couldn't.
You would always find something
480
00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:12,760
wrong with them, you know.
And so when I did that, I took
481
00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:18,320
away the game and I was like,
you know, this is me.
482
00:28:18,640 --> 00:28:21,160
If you want to marry me, I'm
here and I'm ready.
483
00:28:21,160 --> 00:28:25,720
So whenever you are.
Yeah, wow.
484
00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:30,560
OK, So how long did that take?
How did it go?
485
00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:35,400
So he broke up with me not
terribly long after that, not
486
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:38,880
because of that, but because I
am a creative.
487
00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:41,160
He's OCD.
There's a little bit of a clash
488
00:28:41,160 --> 00:28:44,040
there.
And he.
489
00:28:44,360 --> 00:28:49,720
So he dumped me and then a
little bit later we got back
490
00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:53,080
together and then he dumped me
again.
491
00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:56,640
And.
And then the third time he.
492
00:28:56,960 --> 00:28:58,520
We.
Yeah, So he dummy again.
493
00:28:58,520 --> 00:29:02,120
Then he started dating that gal.
This is his ideal woman.
494
00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:03,880
I guess he met her on eHarmony
or something.
495
00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:08,840
And he thought, he told me I
need some space because we were
496
00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:13,760
good friends serving in singles
together, you know, And he said
497
00:29:13,760 --> 00:29:15,920
I need some space.
I think she's the one which just
498
00:29:16,360 --> 00:29:19,600
broke me.
And then that's when I went
499
00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:26,920
through that part of my story,
which is learning to turn in to
500
00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:31,800
get what I need for the moment
and letting that be enough and
501
00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:36,480
then coming back at turning in
and getting what I need for that
502
00:29:36,480 --> 00:29:39,600
moment.
And then that happened for about
503
00:29:39,640 --> 00:29:44,320
3 months of just pure misery.
When I talk about it with women,
504
00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:46,080
they always have similar
stories.
505
00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:49,000
It's crazy.
And they they tell me that
506
00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:52,960
they've been through this and
where they love someone and
507
00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:56,880
they've been dumped.
Usually people don't do it three
508
00:29:56,880 --> 00:30:00,360
times or are willing to, you
know, go through three times,
509
00:30:00,920 --> 00:30:04,280
but he did.
So that was the the the third
510
00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:09,240
time after he dumped me, met the
girl, told me to pause.
511
00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:13,400
I paused. 3 1/2 months later the
Holy Spirit said give him a
512
00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:15,440
call, give him a call.
So I did.
513
00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:18,240
I gave him a call.
I said, hey, it's me, your
514
00:30:18,240 --> 00:30:20,640
friend, long lost.
How are you?
515
00:30:20,960 --> 00:30:25,280
He said how did you know?
I broke up with her and I said I
516
00:30:25,280 --> 00:30:26,560
didn't know.
I didn't know.
517
00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:28,680
He said well I'm going shopping
for cars.
518
00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:30,800
I love cars so I was like sure
I'm coming.
519
00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:33,200
We went shopping.
We ate dinner.
520
00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:35,760
Two months later we were
engaged. 2 months after that we
521
00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:40,080
were married.
Wow, and how long has it been?
522
00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:45,120
We have been together.
Oh, don't ask me that.
523
00:30:45,200 --> 00:30:47,320
That's the kind of thing you
need to ask my husband.
524
00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:52,080
So I think we're going on 26
years in January.
525
00:30:52,760 --> 00:30:57,960
Yeah, wow.
Yeah, my brother got married in
526
00:30:57,960 --> 00:31:01,520
January and it seems like it
would be so easy to do the math.
527
00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:03,480
You know what I mean?
Based on January, but some
528
00:31:04,600 --> 00:31:07,000
slightly more complicated, it
seems that it should.
529
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:09,680
Be yeah, something.
Well, I probably it changes
530
00:31:09,680 --> 00:31:12,040
every year, so I don't.
It's hard to remember how many
531
00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:16,840
years we've been married.
Yeah, 26, congratulations.
532
00:31:18,120 --> 00:31:20,280
Thank you.
How long have you been married?
533
00:31:21,080 --> 00:31:23,880
19 Yeah.
Praise God.
534
00:31:24,640 --> 00:31:28,000
Praise God.
Yeah, man, He gets every bit of
535
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:31,040
the glory for that.
So no doubt about it.
536
00:31:31,880 --> 00:31:35,720
So that is absolutely amazing,
Kathy.
537
00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:38,280
I mean, there's so many
different pieces that are in
538
00:31:38,280 --> 00:31:41,560
there.
And obviously you stuck with
539
00:31:41,560 --> 00:31:44,840
things, you know what I mean,
through that time.
540
00:31:45,080 --> 00:31:47,880
But you mentioned or kind of,
yeah, you were, you were talking
541
00:31:47,880 --> 00:31:51,400
specifically about during that
period of time, particularly in
542
00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:56,480
that 3 1/2 month period that you
had to turn in to get what you
543
00:31:56,480 --> 00:31:58,760
needed.
And I think I have an idea of
544
00:31:58,760 --> 00:32:02,000
what you mean by that.
But let's be really clear.
545
00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:05,720
Tell us what or who you're
turning into, OK?
546
00:32:07,280 --> 00:32:10,240
So when people suffer, they have
two choices.
547
00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:13,880
They can either rant, rail, and
question God.
548
00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:17,520
And that's sometimes a
legitimate response.
549
00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:20,080
I'm not saying that it's not a
human response.
550
00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:24,160
I'm sure I did a certain
percentage of that myself.
551
00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:28,520
But then the other option is to
lean into God.
552
00:32:28,520 --> 00:32:31,240
This is what the psalmist does
in almost every Psalm.
553
00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:35,960
The first half is he's laying
out how bad things really are
554
00:32:36,400 --> 00:32:39,800
truthfully.
And then about this latter half
555
00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:43,880
of the Psalms, if you ever read
it, you'll notice they shift.
556
00:32:44,520 --> 00:32:49,600
They say things like, yet I will
trust God, yet I will put my
557
00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:52,640
faith in the one who was
faithful in the past and will be
558
00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:56,160
faithful in the future.
They remember and recount to
559
00:32:56,160 --> 00:32:59,200
themselves the days of old, the
things you did.
560
00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:03,240
And I do the same thing.
So when I lean in, when I say
561
00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:08,600
that I'm turning into God, I'm
turning, returning and reminding
562
00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:13,280
my of the times when He kept me,
held me, spoke to me, and I
563
00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:16,920
proved that it was Him over and
over and over.
564
00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:19,320
Oh, that's you.
That's you speaking.
565
00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:23,320
OK, so now I can trust that
voice or oh, that's how you
566
00:33:23,320 --> 00:33:26,400
interpret Scripture in a
situation like that.
567
00:33:26,680 --> 00:33:32,760
Or when I turn on a worship
music song and I get lost in the
568
00:33:32,760 --> 00:33:36,520
worship and I receive from him,
I'm doing those things, It's
569
00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:40,960
like plugging in, right?
And so when I was going through
570
00:33:40,960 --> 00:33:45,880
those times, any of those times,
pick one, the thing that I was
571
00:33:45,880 --> 00:33:50,760
able to rely on, probably
because of the, I would say,
572
00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:55,520
generations before me that had
set a path.
573
00:33:55,760 --> 00:33:58,320
This is how you exist in
suffering.
574
00:33:58,560 --> 00:34:05,520
This is how you make it through.
I was able to get the power of
575
00:34:05,520 --> 00:34:10,480
the Holy Spirit to sustain me.
If I needed kindness in a
576
00:34:10,480 --> 00:34:15,760
moment, He gave me kindness.
If I needed joy when I was
577
00:34:15,760 --> 00:34:18,880
feeling very low, he gave me
that.
578
00:34:19,159 --> 00:34:23,560
And a lot of times it was like,
I would say, oh, that's a lack
579
00:34:23,679 --> 00:34:25,480
in me.
Here's a lack, right.
580
00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:26,719
Here's a lack I'm holding a
lack.
581
00:34:26,719 --> 00:34:30,080
This is lack I lack.
And then I would turn to him and
582
00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:32,800
say, what do you have that's
going to fix this lack?
583
00:34:33,560 --> 00:34:37,040
And it's always in his character
and his nature.
584
00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:41,560
This is what I write about all
the time because it's it's like
585
00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:46,880
every time I have a lack, he has
the antidote to that directly in
586
00:34:46,880 --> 00:34:48,480
his character and his
attributes.
587
00:34:48,480 --> 00:34:52,239
And it fills or fixes or
changes, transforms that lack.
588
00:34:52,719 --> 00:34:55,880
And that's the way he designed
it, I think.
589
00:34:56,760 --> 00:35:00,880
But as Americans, we think we're
supposed to approach without
590
00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:03,240
lack.
That is not how he designed it.
591
00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:08,000
He designed it so that when you
encounter lack, when you suffer,
592
00:35:08,200 --> 00:35:13,280
when you wrestle hard things,
you turn to him and say, do you
593
00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:16,480
have something for this?
Then he says, Oh yes, I do.
594
00:35:16,600 --> 00:35:18,920
And then he supplies it from
himself.
595
00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:24,280
That's why the Bible is so full
of all the names of God and what
596
00:35:24,280 --> 00:35:27,440
they mean, because they're not
just telling you like an
597
00:35:27,440 --> 00:35:30,280
introduction like a dating game
or something like that.
598
00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:34,600
He's telling you because those
things are made available to
599
00:35:34,600 --> 00:35:36,880
you.
People have a difficulty
600
00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:40,680
defining grace.
They say it's unmerited favor or
601
00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:45,400
something like this is fine.
Grace is everything found in the
602
00:35:45,400 --> 00:35:51,080
nature and the character of God
made available to you in the
603
00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:53,880
perfected moment of your knee.
Not before.
604
00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:57,040
You didn't have grace to raise
your children before you had
605
00:35:57,040 --> 00:35:58,640
children.
You didn't have grace to be
606
00:35:58,640 --> 00:36:01,760
married before you were married.
You don't get the grace to do
607
00:36:01,760 --> 00:36:04,120
the hard things until you're
going through them.
608
00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:07,200
It's like that movie Search for
the Holy Grail.
609
00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:11,000
Not the Monty Python version,
but the the good one, the
610
00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:15,320
Indiana Jones one.
And he's going across the the
611
00:36:15,320 --> 00:36:16,320
chasm.
Chasm.
612
00:36:16,680 --> 00:36:19,720
See.
Yes, it's so powerful because
613
00:36:19,720 --> 00:36:22,760
all he has is this map of his
dad's, you know, with the little
614
00:36:22,760 --> 00:36:24,840
drawing.
And he's like, there's no way.
615
00:36:25,080 --> 00:36:27,160
He has no rope.
He has no nothing.
616
00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:29,840
He's done nothing.
And he's either going to put his
617
00:36:29,840 --> 00:36:33,560
foot forward and go straight
down to his death and and his
618
00:36:33,560 --> 00:36:37,480
dad's going to die too, or his
foot is going to connect.
619
00:36:38,360 --> 00:36:41,680
And just as he transfers all his
weight, like watch it.
620
00:36:41,680 --> 00:36:44,480
It's incredible.
You can get clips on YouTube.
621
00:36:44,600 --> 00:36:49,200
Just as he transfers his weight
and it's either do or die, his
622
00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:52,160
foot connects.
That's how grace is.
623
00:36:52,160 --> 00:36:55,040
That is what it is.
Just before it's do or die.
624
00:36:55,960 --> 00:36:59,080
God's grace connects you with
the very thing that's going to
625
00:36:59,080 --> 00:37:01,640
carry you.
Yeah.
626
00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:04,360
Thank you for illuminating it in
that way.
627
00:37:04,360 --> 00:37:08,000
I'm very familiar with that
scene because having seen it
628
00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:10,720
many, many years ago when it
first came out, because I think
629
00:37:10,720 --> 00:37:12,600
that movie's probably from the
90s.
630
00:37:13,680 --> 00:37:16,760
It was just very impactful.
It.
631
00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:21,840
Was and very, very memorable and
I don't want to highlight that
632
00:37:21,840 --> 00:37:24,560
to diminish anything that you've
said, but simply to further it.
633
00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:28,120
Well, to that end, I want to
kind of come back a little bit
634
00:37:28,280 --> 00:37:35,840
to your praying James over that
particular person because in a
635
00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:39,600
way that is a great example of
exactly what you were
636
00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:46,520
describing, which is in exactly
that moment he told you James
637
00:37:46,520 --> 00:37:50,560
for this person.
So walking away from that, can
638
00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:54,560
you recall or to what extent do
you recall the impact of that
639
00:37:54,760 --> 00:37:59,520
particular moment for you?
You know, that happened.
640
00:37:59,680 --> 00:38:02,240
And then right after that, I
think like the next day,
641
00:38:02,240 --> 00:38:06,280
something similar happened where
I was praying for someone and
642
00:38:06,280 --> 00:38:10,000
they felt the presence of God.
And I really had to ask a lot of
643
00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:14,680
questions of God to know why.
Why now?
644
00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:17,400
You know, I've been serving you
my whole life.
645
00:38:17,720 --> 00:38:22,000
Why in these instances are you
letting your power flow through
646
00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:25,400
me?
And he said, it's because you're
647
00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:29,200
not getting in the way.
And, you know, I could have been
648
00:38:29,200 --> 00:38:32,640
offended by that, but I wasn't
because obviously that's what
649
00:38:32,640 --> 00:38:36,840
had happened before.
And maybe I had expectations, or
650
00:38:37,600 --> 00:38:41,320
maybe I just hadn't been in a
place to receive fully.
651
00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:45,200
I don't know.
But whatever the case is, from
652
00:38:45,200 --> 00:38:50,680
that moment on, it became I
became more aware that his, his
653
00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:53,680
job, if you will, is to flow
through me.
654
00:38:53,920 --> 00:38:59,080
My job is to let him flow.
This perfect relationship here
655
00:38:59,360 --> 00:39:01,680
is to not prevent it from
flowing.
656
00:39:02,080 --> 00:39:06,720
There's a word Eucharista says.
Now I'll geek out for a second.
657
00:39:06,880 --> 00:39:10,960
It's a Greek word, and it's
where we get our communion word
658
00:39:11,040 --> 00:39:13,400
Eucharist.
And it's right there in the
659
00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:15,120
scriptures.
It's in multiple places.
660
00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:18,640
But in the Scriptures, when he
breaks the bread and he gives
661
00:39:18,640 --> 00:39:22,960
the wine for the very first time
to the disciples right before
662
00:39:22,960 --> 00:39:27,000
that, it says, and he gave
thanks, which is a terrible
663
00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:30,760
translation.
That is not not dashing off a
664
00:39:30,760 --> 00:39:33,720
thank you note for Americans.
It's a terrible translation.
665
00:39:33,840 --> 00:39:37,360
Like when we say thank you, it's
like, oh, thanks, you know, or
666
00:39:37,360 --> 00:39:39,360
write a thank you note if you're
lucky, right?
667
00:39:39,360 --> 00:39:41,000
If you're lucky, you get a
handwritten thank you note.
668
00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:43,480
Like that's that's high level
thanks right now.
669
00:39:44,160 --> 00:39:49,520
But he connected, right.
OK, So he connected with the
670
00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:54,520
Father, and the Father poured
out all that he was into the
671
00:39:54,520 --> 00:39:59,240
Son, and the Son received and
returned it back to him in
672
00:39:59,320 --> 00:40:02,520
unbroken fellowship.
That's Eucharist to say.
673
00:40:02,520 --> 00:40:05,640
So that's actually the most
important part of communion that
674
00:40:05,640 --> 00:40:08,360
we don't really talk about much
because we just kind of jumped
675
00:40:08,360 --> 00:40:10,960
to the blood and the bread
because it's tangible and you
676
00:40:10,960 --> 00:40:14,080
can feel that.
But Athanasius tells us that
677
00:40:14,080 --> 00:40:18,000
Eucharist to say is receiving
all that God pours out.
678
00:40:18,800 --> 00:40:22,360
And, and it overflows and it
fixes the world around us.
679
00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:25,640
Like NT Wright is always talking
about encouraging us that our
680
00:40:25,640 --> 00:40:30,600
job is to flow with this power
of the Holy Spirit, repairing
681
00:40:30,600 --> 00:40:34,000
what is broken, but also to
return it back to him and
682
00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:36,360
worship.
So I think that was when I
683
00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:40,160
started to land on Ah, this is
how it's supposed to go.
684
00:40:42,200 --> 00:40:43,280
Yeah.
Wow.
685
00:40:44,200 --> 00:40:46,160
That's pretty significant
revelation there.
686
00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:49,440
That's great.
Thank you for sharing that.
687
00:40:51,360 --> 00:40:54,960
Well, let's come into now.
You're married, OK.
688
00:40:54,960 --> 00:40:57,400
I know I've been moving us
around, shifting us around a lot
689
00:40:57,400 --> 00:41:04,800
of different places in the
story, but you are married and
690
00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:07,560
there are some challenges.
Tell us a little bit about
691
00:41:07,560 --> 00:41:12,360
those.
So at first when I married my
692
00:41:12,360 --> 00:41:17,560
husband, as I mentioned, he's
OCD and I am not kind of
693
00:41:17,560 --> 00:41:21,160
opposite raised by hippies.
So there's opposite.
694
00:41:21,840 --> 00:41:24,800
And we struggled through a
number of things.
695
00:41:25,480 --> 00:41:31,640
The main thing I think was that
I needed to know that God's
696
00:41:31,640 --> 00:41:37,520
promises to me that happened
kind of in between the first
697
00:41:37,520 --> 00:41:41,200
marriage and the second marriage
that I would have children would
698
00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:44,680
come to pass.
And you know, I don't want to be
699
00:41:44,680 --> 00:41:47,280
one of those people who's
obsessed about having children.
700
00:41:47,280 --> 00:41:50,640
I wasn't like that, but he had
given a promise.
701
00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:54,000
So therefore I wanted to see
that promise come to pass.
702
00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:56,000
OK, so that's a little different
place.
703
00:41:56,840 --> 00:41:59,840
And my second husband really
didn't want children.
704
00:42:00,600 --> 00:42:03,880
But when we got married, he said
we will have children.
705
00:42:04,360 --> 00:42:07,920
I so great.
You come to me when you're ready
706
00:42:07,920 --> 00:42:11,800
to have children.
I was not sure how long that was
707
00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:14,600
going to take.
And 10 years is probably a
708
00:42:14,600 --> 00:42:15,840
little bit longer than I
thought.
709
00:42:16,280 --> 00:42:19,560
But regardless, I waited.
I didn't want to nag him into
710
00:42:19,560 --> 00:42:21,400
anything.
It's just not how you should do
711
00:42:21,400 --> 00:42:23,160
it.
It's it's not a recipe for a
712
00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:26,960
great marriage.
And right after I told my
713
00:42:27,080 --> 00:42:32,520
husband Mickey is his name,
after I told him that I was not
714
00:42:32,520 --> 00:42:34,920
going to pressure him.
He just needed to come to me.
715
00:42:35,560 --> 00:42:39,960
I was doing my devotions.
I think it was the next day and
716
00:42:39,960 --> 00:42:45,200
I was just sort of quiet and the
Holy Spirit gave me a vision of
717
00:42:45,200 --> 00:42:48,720
a daughter and a son.
And the son was taller than the
718
00:42:48,720 --> 00:42:55,000
daughter, so obviously 1st.
And he laid his hands on my
719
00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:58,720
son's head and he said his name
is Josiah.
720
00:42:58,720 --> 00:43:00,720
He'll be the last good thing to
happen to Judah.
721
00:43:00,920 --> 00:43:04,280
And it was one of those visions,
not like a pizza dream where
722
00:43:04,280 --> 00:43:08,120
you're not sure, you know, is it
pizza or is it God or is this
723
00:43:08,120 --> 00:43:11,880
kind of 1/2 awake kind of thing?
It was a vision that kind of
724
00:43:11,880 --> 00:43:16,040
took over my sight, you know,
kind of thing.
725
00:43:16,720 --> 00:43:20,920
And I told everybody about it.
I said, this is what I, this is
726
00:43:20,920 --> 00:43:22,440
what I experienced.
This is what I saw.
727
00:43:22,720 --> 00:43:26,440
And I sunk my teeth into that.
And that's what kept me as I
728
00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:30,680
waited those long years.
Yeah.
729
00:43:31,560 --> 00:43:34,480
Tell us more about sinking your
teeth into that, because you're
730
00:43:34,480 --> 00:43:37,400
now describing essentially a
decade, right?
731
00:43:37,840 --> 00:43:40,040
Yes, right.
Exactly.
732
00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:47,080
So for me, it meant that what
God promises, God will do.
733
00:43:47,720 --> 00:43:50,040
I don't know what that's going
to look like.
734
00:43:50,160 --> 00:43:55,840
So I'll release my expectations
of that, but I will wait with
735
00:43:55,880 --> 00:43:59,600
expectancy that he's going to do
something.
736
00:44:00,240 --> 00:44:04,200
And so I would talk about it to
anyone who asked, when are you
737
00:44:04,200 --> 00:44:06,600
going to have kids?
Is a very common question for
738
00:44:06,600 --> 00:44:10,920
newlyweds for a very long time.
And it gets worse, by the way,
739
00:44:11,840 --> 00:44:16,080
as you go.
So I would tell people, I don't
740
00:44:16,080 --> 00:44:19,760
know when we're going to have
kids, but I know we will because
741
00:44:19,760 --> 00:44:22,000
this is what happened.
And they're like, oh, I've never
742
00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:23,560
had that happen to me.
Tell me more.
743
00:44:23,840 --> 00:44:26,920
So it was always a story that I
could share that would share
744
00:44:26,920 --> 00:44:30,120
more about an intimate
relationship with God that maybe
745
00:44:30,120 --> 00:44:33,400
they would desire more.
After having that conversation,
746
00:44:34,080 --> 00:44:36,120
my husband defended me.
He's like, it's my fault.
747
00:44:36,120 --> 00:44:38,400
I just don't want him right now.
You know, he would jump in.
748
00:44:38,400 --> 00:44:40,880
So it was it was great.
It wasn't all on me, you know,
749
00:44:40,880 --> 00:44:44,960
but here's conversations about
having kids, you know, for
750
00:44:45,280 --> 00:44:48,920
people when you're a newlywed
and into several years.
751
00:44:49,400 --> 00:44:55,680
And then I, I did, finally he's
came to me and he said, OK, I'm
752
00:44:55,920 --> 00:44:58,840
ready to have kids.
I've done all the travelling,
753
00:44:58,840 --> 00:45:01,160
I've eaten where I wanted to
eat, I've done shopped where I
754
00:45:01,160 --> 00:45:04,040
wanted to shop and I'm bored,
let's have kids.
755
00:45:04,120 --> 00:45:08,400
And so, yeah, he said let's,
let's start.
756
00:45:08,400 --> 00:45:13,320
And so we started.
And, you know, up up to a
757
00:45:13,320 --> 00:45:15,520
certain point, that's pretty
easy.
758
00:45:15,520 --> 00:45:21,000
But then I got pregnant and then
I lost that baby and that that
759
00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:23,720
was hard because this is not,
I'm not going to compare myself
760
00:45:23,720 --> 00:45:27,440
to Abraham and the whole Isaac
thing, but this is my own kind
761
00:45:27,440 --> 00:45:31,320
of Abraham and Isaac thing
because here is the long-awaited
762
00:45:31,320 --> 00:45:35,760
promised in my belly and it is
no longer there.
763
00:45:36,040 --> 00:45:39,600
That's a hard moment.
And then I said to my husband
764
00:45:39,600 --> 00:45:42,600
and my mother-in-law and anybody
else who was around, and I said
765
00:45:43,360 --> 00:45:46,840
it must not be my son and I'm
going to wait.
766
00:45:47,360 --> 00:45:50,800
I even went in for a sonogram
when I was pregnant with my son.
767
00:45:51,040 --> 00:45:53,080
And the sonogram gal told me it
was a girl.
768
00:45:53,080 --> 00:45:56,160
It's like, Nope, it's a boy.
Everybody was trying to tell me
769
00:45:56,160 --> 00:45:57,960
it was a girl.
It's like, Nope, it's a boy.
770
00:45:57,960 --> 00:46:00,320
I already know it's a blonde
haired boy.
771
00:46:00,680 --> 00:46:06,160
And when I birthed him at home,
which was a delight, I, they put
772
00:46:06,160 --> 00:46:09,720
him in my arms and they said, Oh
yeah, it's a head full of blonde
773
00:46:09,720 --> 00:46:11,240
hair.
And I was like, I already knew.
774
00:46:11,600 --> 00:46:16,520
I already knew.
Yeah, and I suspect you named
775
00:46:16,520 --> 00:46:19,320
him Josiah.
It did, yes.
776
00:46:19,720 --> 00:46:23,480
Josiah.
His full name means healed and
777
00:46:23,480 --> 00:46:26,840
supported by the fire of a
gracious God to the victorious
778
00:46:26,840 --> 00:46:28,240
end.
He has quite a name.
779
00:46:30,360 --> 00:46:32,880
Yeah, that's for sure.
Wow.
780
00:46:33,280 --> 00:46:35,840
That's where you can heap out on
thanks.
781
00:46:35,840 --> 00:46:38,120
Yeah.
My daughter's name, she came
782
00:46:38,120 --> 00:46:40,600
about two years later.
Three years later.
783
00:46:40,600 --> 00:46:44,360
Excuse me.
Her name is Cassia and her full
784
00:46:44,360 --> 00:46:48,920
name means broken and crushed to
perfection by God through prayer
785
00:46:48,920 --> 00:46:52,480
to the victorious end.
Wow, a lot of gravity in those
786
00:46:52,480 --> 00:46:53,560
names.
Yeah.
787
00:46:55,240 --> 00:46:58,880
Kathy, I think you've got a
really unique opportunity right
788
00:46:58,880 --> 00:47:04,600
here in this moment to help
inspire some hope for folks.
789
00:47:05,080 --> 00:47:08,800
And I'm and I'm with with the
question that I'm going to ask
790
00:47:08,800 --> 00:47:15,280
you and that is you were talking
about waiting with expectancy.
791
00:47:16,520 --> 00:47:21,360
And the reason why I think
you're so well positioned to
792
00:47:21,480 --> 00:47:27,560
talk about this is that 10 years
for almost everything is not a
793
00:47:27,560 --> 00:47:30,160
short period of time, you know
what I mean?
794
00:47:30,640 --> 00:47:38,040
So you've got actual experience
waiting with expectancy and I
795
00:47:38,040 --> 00:47:43,040
want I'd love to hear more about
that and how you were so
796
00:47:43,040 --> 00:47:47,880
convicted.
God is who He says He is, and
797
00:47:48,040 --> 00:47:51,680
one of the things I knew was
that I was not so special that I
798
00:47:51,680 --> 00:47:55,320
was going to be the first person
he let down or the first person
799
00:47:55,320 --> 00:47:59,160
he promised something to and
didn't come through for, or the
800
00:47:59,160 --> 00:48:03,160
first person that he lied to or
the first person that he failed.
801
00:48:04,080 --> 00:48:07,280
I'm not that special for the God
of the universe, for the very
802
00:48:07,280 --> 00:48:09,360
first time to drop the ball with
me.
803
00:48:09,440 --> 00:48:14,960
It's not going to happen.
So I was confident that the God
804
00:48:14,960 --> 00:48:18,000
who did it in the past is the
God who will do it again in the
805
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:20,520
future.
And I think that's a very
806
00:48:20,520 --> 00:48:24,760
important part of my life
mission.
807
00:48:25,240 --> 00:48:31,200
If God is the God who sees Hagar
in the desert, he's the God who
808
00:48:31,200 --> 00:48:36,720
sees us now and sees the
injustice that's done to us now
809
00:48:36,720 --> 00:48:39,480
or the justice injustice done to
me in the past.
810
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:46,480
And if he is Jehovah Jireh to
Abraham, which basically means
811
00:48:46,480 --> 00:48:50,000
the same thing, but it says
because God sees he's going to
812
00:48:50,000 --> 00:48:55,840
do something about it, or if
he's the judge, or if he's the
813
00:48:55,840 --> 00:49:00,040
shepherd, who's going to guide
me if he was that way in the
814
00:49:00,040 --> 00:49:05,000
past, because he never changes.
He said I, the Lord, do not
815
00:49:05,000 --> 00:49:07,680
change.
There's no shadow of change in
816
00:49:07,680 --> 00:49:10,600
me because he's the God who did
it once.
817
00:49:10,600 --> 00:49:12,440
He's the God who do it again
now.
818
00:49:12,440 --> 00:49:15,520
I fully expect at some point in
time to see somebody tell a
819
00:49:15,520 --> 00:49:18,440
story about a burning Bush.
Like everything he's done in the
820
00:49:18,440 --> 00:49:21,680
past, he will, can and will do
again.
821
00:49:21,680 --> 00:49:26,440
Because not because he wants to
show off, but because it's his
822
00:49:26,440 --> 00:49:29,560
nature to do those things.
It's his nature to have a
823
00:49:29,560 --> 00:49:32,000
relationship.
It's his nature to show up.
824
00:49:32,480 --> 00:49:35,520
It's his nature to lead Angel
armies and deliver you out of
825
00:49:35,520 --> 00:49:39,040
the hands of an enemy.
This is what he does, and what
826
00:49:39,040 --> 00:49:41,440
he does is never separated from
who he is.
827
00:49:41,440 --> 00:49:45,000
The 2 are always together in
tandem.
828
00:49:45,520 --> 00:49:47,480
That's what it means to be a
faithful God.
829
00:49:47,840 --> 00:49:54,840
So hope to me looks like knowing
that the God who did it once,
830
00:49:55,400 --> 00:49:58,960
the God who promises it and
always, always fulfills his
831
00:49:58,960 --> 00:50:05,600
promise, it's going to happen.
But my part, this is, I think
832
00:50:05,760 --> 00:50:10,440
the hard part, my part is
letting go of what it might look
833
00:50:10,440 --> 00:50:12,880
like.
I had to let go with whether or
834
00:50:12,880 --> 00:50:15,880
not those children would be
birthed from me, like maybe they
835
00:50:15,880 --> 00:50:18,320
dropped off at my doorstep.
I don't know.
836
00:50:19,080 --> 00:50:21,600
But I was going to trust that I
would get those children.
837
00:50:22,000 --> 00:50:25,600
And I knew that one was a boy,
what was a girl?
838
00:50:25,920 --> 00:50:29,400
And those are my 2.
I wanted 10 but two will do.
839
00:50:30,440 --> 00:50:33,560
Thanks, Kathy.
That's really helpful.
840
00:50:34,120 --> 00:50:36,720
I think so many people are going
to be blessed by hearing all of
841
00:50:36,720 --> 00:50:38,080
that.
And I mean that.
842
00:50:38,680 --> 00:50:43,560
Thank you.
We, we've covered a lot of
843
00:50:43,560 --> 00:50:47,040
ground.
This has been fabulous from my
844
00:50:47,040 --> 00:50:50,680
perspective.
And as we land our conversation,
845
00:50:51,080 --> 00:50:55,120
we ask all of our guests 2
questions, and the first of
846
00:50:55,120 --> 00:51:00,200
which is were the things that
you've described, and you've
847
00:51:00,200 --> 00:51:03,360
described a lot here, right?
But let's talk about things like
848
00:51:03,680 --> 00:51:07,960
the need or the prompt to speak
James right over that particular
849
00:51:07,960 --> 00:51:13,440
person or pray James, or the
vision of Josiah and your
850
00:51:13,440 --> 00:51:16,000
daughter.
There's all kinds of different
851
00:51:16,000 --> 00:51:19,560
things that you described
throughout this conversation.
852
00:51:19,560 --> 00:51:24,760
Were those things, Kathy
coincidence that they occurred,
853
00:51:25,280 --> 00:51:29,800
or was that God in action?
Well, I think the proof is in
854
00:51:29,800 --> 00:51:34,880
the pudding.
So if it was a coincidence, and
855
00:51:34,880 --> 00:51:37,360
by the way, you really can only
have one coincidence.
856
00:51:37,560 --> 00:51:41,320
You can't have a lot of them.
So the sheer number is kind of
857
00:51:41,320 --> 00:51:47,440
helpful to dispel that one.
But the key thing is the proof.
858
00:51:47,880 --> 00:51:51,040
And I do think that's why we're
supposed to have fruit because
859
00:51:51,040 --> 00:51:55,080
it's the proof.
If God is speaking and you say
860
00:51:55,080 --> 00:51:59,960
what he says and then he does
what he, you spoke through you
861
00:51:59,960 --> 00:52:03,160
to say to that person, then you
know it was God.
862
00:52:03,880 --> 00:52:06,720
I know that there are people who
who will just throw things out
863
00:52:06,720 --> 00:52:09,600
there and say any old thing that
they want to say, and there are
864
00:52:09,600 --> 00:52:12,280
people like that, but there has
to be fruit.
865
00:52:12,280 --> 00:52:14,840
You have to look at the fruit.
Is it coming to pass?
866
00:52:14,840 --> 00:52:16,960
Is it coming true?
Yep.
867
00:52:16,960 --> 00:52:19,360
And Yep.
So that's when we know it's
868
00:52:19,680 --> 00:52:25,960
proved that this was God.
Yeah, really, really neat that
869
00:52:25,960 --> 00:52:28,400
you describe it that way.
You're actually not the first
870
00:52:28,400 --> 00:52:31,320
that has used almost that exact
phrase.
871
00:52:32,680 --> 00:52:37,040
And I say that not to take any,
any originality away, but truly
872
00:52:37,040 --> 00:52:41,080
just to to, you know, affirm and
reaffirm what you each have
873
00:52:41,080 --> 00:52:44,040
said.
So how has your life changed,
874
00:52:44,040 --> 00:52:48,000
Kathy, based on everything that
you've described for us?
875
00:52:50,400 --> 00:52:55,840
I think the main thing that has
changed for me looking back at
876
00:52:55,840 --> 00:52:59,040
that 17 almost 18 year old
getting married.
877
00:52:59,800 --> 00:53:02,960
The main thing that has changed
is that I have proven him to
878
00:53:02,960 --> 00:53:08,640
myself over and over again and
I'm awfully good and awfully
879
00:53:08,640 --> 00:53:16,280
fast at finding out what he's
doing in a situation instead of
880
00:53:16,280 --> 00:53:20,680
waiting to ask 10,000 other
people for their advice.
881
00:53:21,600 --> 00:53:26,880
Though I love advice or even
worrying about something before
882
00:53:26,880 --> 00:53:33,320
I take it to him or in the in
the case of prayer, going down A
883
00:53:33,320 --> 00:53:36,400
to do list, you know, and
praying that one of those
884
00:53:36,400 --> 00:53:38,960
prayers is going to hit the
heart of God and get me what I'm
885
00:53:38,960 --> 00:53:41,400
asking for.
I don't pray like that anymore.
886
00:53:42,120 --> 00:53:44,600
I asked him, what do you want?
What are you doing?
887
00:53:44,600 --> 00:53:48,560
What are you after?
And then he tells me and just
888
00:53:48,560 --> 00:53:51,440
like we just said, when it
proves to be true that I'm like,
889
00:53:51,440 --> 00:53:55,200
OK, that was you.
Sometimes it's very specific.
890
00:53:55,200 --> 00:54:00,520
Like right after I had Josiah, I
felt blessed to have a child
891
00:54:00,520 --> 00:54:04,920
with such help that I began to
pray for other women who did not
892
00:54:04,920 --> 00:54:06,560
have that same blessing.
And their children were going
893
00:54:06,560 --> 00:54:10,000
through so much.
And so it was intense prayer
894
00:54:10,000 --> 00:54:12,320
session sometimes.
And they would post this,
895
00:54:12,440 --> 00:54:16,560
there's groups on Facebook and
they'd say something like pray
896
00:54:16,560 --> 00:54:18,960
fast.
My, my, the doctor just came in
897
00:54:18,960 --> 00:54:21,040
and said that if she doesn't get
a kidney today, she's going to
898
00:54:21,040 --> 00:54:23,080
die.
Like that kind of life and death
899
00:54:23,080 --> 00:54:24,800
situation.
I'm not talking about pray for
900
00:54:24,800 --> 00:54:27,640
me so that I can get this job or
not get this job, which is a
901
00:54:27,640 --> 00:54:29,960
fine prayer too, but it's just
not life and death.
902
00:54:30,560 --> 00:54:33,960
And so I would ask the Lord,
what do you want me to pray for
903
00:54:33,960 --> 00:54:36,320
this?
And I would pray specifically
904
00:54:36,320 --> 00:54:39,280
what he said, even if I didn't
understand the medical jargon.
905
00:54:39,280 --> 00:54:45,240
I just prayed whatever he said.
And then after I felt released,
906
00:54:45,600 --> 00:54:49,080
done with the prayer time, I
would text the mom and say this
907
00:54:49,080 --> 00:54:51,120
is what I prayed for, this is
what I felt.
908
00:54:51,120 --> 00:54:57,400
I heard blessings and many
times, not dozens more like
909
00:54:58,000 --> 00:55:02,320
maybe closer to 60-70 times,
they would text me back and say
910
00:55:02,440 --> 00:55:06,160
things like, I can't tell you
but this just happened.
911
00:55:06,360 --> 00:55:09,280
The one I was just giving an
example of, she said the kidney
912
00:55:09,280 --> 00:55:13,600
arrived as you texted me.
OK, that's God.
913
00:55:13,600 --> 00:55:17,080
It's not coincidence, you know,
and, and putting yourself out
914
00:55:17,080 --> 00:55:20,800
there to say, I really feel like
this is what God said to me is,
915
00:55:20,920 --> 00:55:23,080
you know, it's a scary thing,
but I'm bold now.
916
00:55:23,080 --> 00:55:24,920
It's like, what do I have to
lose?
917
00:55:24,920 --> 00:55:28,400
If he has told me before, he'll
tell me again he's going to
918
00:55:28,400 --> 00:55:30,840
move.
He's been doing it all along.
919
00:55:30,840 --> 00:55:32,240
People are just not trained to
see it.
920
00:55:32,680 --> 00:55:35,160
And so I'd say that's the big
difference is I'm more trained
921
00:55:35,160 --> 00:55:37,800
to see it now.
Yeah.
922
00:55:38,680 --> 00:55:42,080
And perhaps much more willing to
see it, right.
923
00:55:42,400 --> 00:55:45,000
I mean, clearly you're
describing a discipline in that,
924
00:55:45,000 --> 00:55:47,080
right, in terms of in the
training.
925
00:55:48,920 --> 00:55:54,920
Yeah.
Wow, Kathy, thank you.
926
00:55:55,400 --> 00:55:57,800
You're welcome.
Thank you for breaking this
927
00:55:57,800 --> 00:55:59,560
down.
Thank you for sharing with
928
00:55:59,560 --> 00:56:03,040
transparency and with honesty
and with insight.
929
00:56:03,840 --> 00:56:06,520
It's been a wonderful
conversation when you look is
930
00:56:06,560 --> 00:56:11,160
literally powered these
incredible stories from ordinary
931
00:56:11,160 --> 00:56:13,840
people and you have truly
blessed us today.
932
00:56:13,840 --> 00:56:15,400
So thank you.
Thank you.
933
00:56:17,640 --> 00:56:21,400
I appreciate you having me.
I hope your audience is is able
934
00:56:21,400 --> 00:56:24,160
to take sink their teeth into
it.
935
00:56:24,160 --> 00:56:25,880
Take it and sink their teeth
into it.
936
00:56:26,760 --> 00:56:34,880
Yeah, me as well.
Was it coincidence or God?
937
00:56:35,480 --> 00:56:40,120
You decide for yourself, but I
believe you just heard a story
938
00:56:40,120 --> 00:56:44,080
for His glory.
When You Look is powered by
939
00:56:44,080 --> 00:56:47,640
stories just like this and yours
could be next.
940
00:56:48,000 --> 00:56:52,240
Go to whenyoulook.com/be a guest
or use the link in the
941
00:56:52,240 --> 00:56:56,200
description below.
Drop us a comment and share this
942
00:56:56,200 --> 00:56:58,320
episode with somebody that needs
it.
943
00:56:58,880 --> 00:57:03,080
Until next time, thanks a bunch
for listening and watching, and
944
00:57:03,080 --> 00:57:03,880
God bless.