I Tested God With This Prayer | Josh Harper | 051

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So we get there and I'm like,
all right, God, make it obvious,

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make it clear.
And I'm like getting nothing.

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So finally one night after going
to that orphanage, I was like,

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God, if you want me to adopt,
make this thing on my back go

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away.
Welcome to When You Look, where

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ordinary people share their
extraordinary experiences and

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you get to decide, was it
coincidence or God?

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Hey Josh, thanks to Bunch for
being on When You Look.

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Great to have you here.
Thanks for having me Mick, it's

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great to be here.
Yeah, awesome for sure, man.

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Well, before we get started into
your story, since everybody that

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comes on when you look has a
great story to share, our

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audience for sure wants to know
a little bit more about you.

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So tell us a little bit about
you all.

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Right, So I'm Josh, been married
for 21 years, have 4 kids and

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actually two of my kids are from
a previous marriage and I have

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two with my current wife that
we've been together for 21

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years.
I love doing missions, doing

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outreach, and was excited to
hear that you wanted to hear a

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story.
Right on.

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Well, that's the whole point
here at When you look, so great

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stories to be shared.
So let's jump right into it.

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Give us a sense for the back
story and sort of what led up to

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the specific story, if you will,
and we'll be glad to listen.

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Fire away.
Yeah, so doing missions and

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outreach, I always felt like you
can't always ask and God, the

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question, like, what is the
shoe?

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Am I doing the right thing?
And I think when you asked me to

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do this, I was kind of like,
just what I'm still trying to

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figure out.
I think this is a kind of

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perfect story.
So as I share it, maybe others

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will be like, oh, that's
definitely, you know, crazy or

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like, dude, that's just
coincidence.

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So it goes back to, I would say
I'd had a time where my parents

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used to go to Niger, Africa with
effective ministries and they

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did it for years.
And if anything, there was a

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little bit of like, I was like,
why are they always doing that?

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Like I have my kids, why are
they going over there?

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What's going on?
And no interest at all on what

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they were doing.
But I did an outreach in New

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York.
It was a mission trip.

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And I felt like I was saying,
this is what you need to do more

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of.
So I said anything you asked me

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to do, I'm going to do it.
Well, I get back from New York

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and I get a call from the
founder of the effective

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ministries link, Michael Baylor.
And he says, Hey, I want you to

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get a Niger.
And I was like, oh, great, this

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is my parents thing.
I don't want to do my parents

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thing, but I just had made this
promise.

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Whatever you ask, I'll dig.
So I'm like, all right, I'm

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going to do it so I can check it
off the list and figure out

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where my what I'm really
supposed to be doing.

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So I go to Niger and fall in
love.

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We're helping out at orphanages,
we're doing construction

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projects, we're partnering with
their churches.

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And I'm like, I just, it's a
whole different culture,

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different way of life.
And I fall in love completely

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shocked.
That's not what I was

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anticipating going into this.
So as time goes on, I do

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multiple more trips to to Niger
and I'm doing other other

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outreaches and other things too.
But I've noticed that a lot of

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people that they go on these
trips are adopting.

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And so here I am two kids from a
previous marriage, two of my

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own.
I'm like, maybe all of this was

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because I'm supposed to adopt,
but I'm seeing some struggles

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going on with some of these
transition.

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You know, it's a challenge when
you bring a kid in.

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So I'm like, I don't know this.
Like I need clear direction that

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this is from God if we're
supposed to adopt.

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So I'm like, all right, well,
the wife spends a lot of time

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with the kids.
So if she says yes, I definitely

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want to do this, then we'll
adopt.

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So I was like, this is easy.
I'm just putting on her.

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So.
I get him away.

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She's like, I don't know,
because she's seen some of the

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same things with these families.
You know, they, they, they bring

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it in.
There's a lots of adjustment.

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There's a, you know, all kinds
of stuff.

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She's like, I, I don't know,
like she's like, you're going to

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clearly need to, to hear from
God.

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So I'm going to tell you a
little bit that was going on

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that I had going on medically,
which is going to make some more

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of this make sense as we move
forward.

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But I had this small lump on my
back.

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It started is about the size of
a marble was when I noticed it

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got to about the size of a golf
ball.

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So about half of a golf ball
sticking out of my lower back.

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And my wife was like you need to
get to the doctor, get this

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checked.
This looks horrible.

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And I was like, but doesn't
hurt, doesn't bother me.

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So finally we're going in there
and I'm like, all right, like

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this is it.
I'm dead.

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It's it's over.
And they're like, they check it

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all out.
They're like, it's like a fatty

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tissue tumor.
If it doesn't hurt, if you know,

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it's not getting in the way of,
of sitting or moving, like just

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leave it alone.
So it's like, OK, so this this

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half the size of a golf ball,
lower back kind of off to the

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side has been there for three
years or so.

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And I'm heading to Niger on on a
mission trip.

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And this is kind of when we're
making the decision of like, are

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we going to move forward with
this or not?

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And the the girl that that we're
even considering was the sister

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to a girl that had been adopted
by some of our friends.

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So her name's Nafisa.
So we were going and my wife had

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kind of hung this back on me.
Now she's like, oh, no, you're

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the man of the house.
You have to have clear direction

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from God.
So I'm like, oh man, I thought I

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was going to throw her.
She threw her back on me.

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So we get there and I'm like,
all right, God, make it obvious,

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make it clear.
And I'm like getting nothing.

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It's like, I don't know, like
make the sunshine a certain way.

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Like I just want to see like the
Angel saying, all right, proceed

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with the adoption.
So finally one night after going

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to that orphanage, I was like,
I'm kind of almost saying this,

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like almost getting me off the
hook, like because I'm like, I'm

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not sure if we're ready for all
of this.

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I'm like, God, if you want me to
adopt, make this thing on my

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back go away.
Like I said, I'd been sitting

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stagnant for three years, hadn't
grown anymore, hadn't changed,

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hadn't done anything.
So wake up the next morning,

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nothing.
And I actually told one of the

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members on the team like, Hey,
I'm going to say this crazy

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prayer.
I just kind of want you to know,

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like, so when I afterwards, if,
if something does happen, I'll

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have a witness and they're like,
sure, whatever, man.

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Like kind of like rolling their
eyes like you're stupid.

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I get back home.
Nothing had happened.

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We were still like, I don't
know, maybe it's not the right

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time.
God will show us.

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I hadn't even told my wife about
my prayer in Africa.

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So it was about a week after I
get back and it's all of a

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sudden like all of this oozing
coming out of my back.

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So not to get too graphic, you
know, I'm not sure how you rate

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these things, Mick, but it was
like, this is horrible.

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This, you know, nasty ooze
coming out of back.

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And within a week this thing
completely goes away.

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So my wife's like, Oh my gosh,
that thing on your back, it all

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cleared up.
You know, we're putting gauze

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pads on it.
Do all that stuff.

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And I was like, I've got to tell
you something.

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When I was in Africa and we were
trying to figure out if we were

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going to adopt, I told God, if
he removed that lump, that I

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knew that that was a sign we
were supposed to move forward.

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And she's like, no way.
So I was like, I was like, now I

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feel like I'm going to be
disobedient if I don't proceed

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with this.
So we call social like the I

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don't even know what it's called
an adoption agency.

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And they have a social service
person that comes in, they do

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like a home check.
We start filling out forms.

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We're getting all of all of her
information straight.

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So this there's tons of
paperwork and there's quite a

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bit of an expense.
So we're investing out, you

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know, in into this dollar wise
and time wise, going through all

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of these different steps.
And ultimately we get to this

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point where we need this one
document.

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Now, the thesis's mother is
still alive.

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She's in and out of jail and has
many pending cases.

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But since her mother was alive,
she had to sign off on a

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document, which she had done
before for the thesis's older

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sister.
So we're thinking this is this

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is going to be no problem.
And ultimately, she wouldn't

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sign.
She wanted some sort of payment,

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which you can't do.
That's child trafficking.

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So it was like, we can't pay
you.

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We want to adopt.
We want to give her a good home.

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So, you know, get her out of the
orphanage because her mom, her

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mom was alive even though she
was in the orphanage.

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So the law that happens at
Nigeria is once you turn 16

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adoptions off the table, like
they don't do adoptions past the

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age of 16.
She aged out.

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So we never got the document
that we needed to proceed with

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this.
During this whole process,

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though, we had missionaries
there that we were tutoring her

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in English so that when she got
here, she'd be able to speak

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English better.
And she ended up moving in with

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the missionaries that we were,
we were having tutor her in

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English and they became kind of
her parents there in Niger.

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And we ended up as as she got
older, she was going to

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university, which we would call
college, what they call it

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university.
So my other daughter was getting

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close to, to going off to
college.

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So I was like, how much is this,
this university thing?

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So they were like, oh, it's like
2300.

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I was like a month, a semester
and they're like, no, a year.

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So I was like, Oh my gosh, I'm
definitely going to do this.

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So since then we've been in a
relationship where we go we see

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Nafisa, she's in university,
she's doing great.

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The the missionary couple that
she's with actually is now back

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in, in the US and she's 18, but
she's still living in their

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house with another couple.
No law, not in the orphanage

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anymore.
Calls all the time just to check

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on us.
Hey, how you doing?

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She calls me Uncle Josh.
Uncle Josh, how you doing?

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So we just have this great
relationship, but none of that

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her getting the tutoring, us
paying for the university, her

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moving in with the missionaries.
Like I kept thinking that I was

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adopting because we needed a
kid, but it wasn't about us

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getting another child, got his
plans for her.

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And so that's why I feel like it
wasn't a coincidence, It wasn't

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an accident that we went through
all of this.

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But it's like one of those
things where my intention was an

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adoption, but that's not how it
worked out.

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So I am still looking forward.
We're working on trying to get

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her passport and working for her
to to be able to come over at

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least during the summer.
And she's still in university

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and that's currently where we're
at.

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Yeah.
Wow.

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Oh, Josh, thanks for sharing,
man.

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Appreciate how you got a little
emotional there towards the end

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of the story because it's it's
clear how much you care for and

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your desire to love her despite
the fact that the actual

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adoption formally and legally
couldn't happen, didn't happen,

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that type of thing.
But what a wonderful story.

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So I wonder what Allison's
thinking was, You know, you

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talked about it.
She's like, hey, I didn't, I

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didn't tell you this, honey,
but.

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You know what?
I.

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Mean and she's like you got to
be kidding or some she said

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something along those lines
right when I.

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First got back I was like, yeah,
I was like I didn't get a clear

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sign.
So she's thinking like, OK,

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we're, we're not proceeding.
And then it, it was about a

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week.
So then I was like, oh, wait,

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hold on.
I got.

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I got.
I.

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Got to take that back like I am
getting a sign.

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Yeah.
And it's like, how did she

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handle that?
Well, I think because both of us

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were just so like, like feeling
like I was putting on her heart.

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But we, you know, you, you want
to keep your kids safe.

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And so it was like, we don't, we
don't want to, you know, ruin

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our other kids lives because we
think we're doing something and,

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and being, and we didn't want to
be showy.

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I feel like sometimes people do
things like that.

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So I think we were just way like
we were cautious, like wanting

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to do what God wanted us to do,
but also like we don't want to

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do any of it for the wrong
reason.

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So if that's kind of where we're
at, like is this the right

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reason?
We're really questioning

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ourselves.
Like what?

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It wasn't whether or not helping
her out was the right thing.

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It was whether or not we were
doing it the right way and at

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the right time for the right
reasons.

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Yeah, I track with you on that.
And that's then it sounds like

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what really launched you into
moving forward with the actual

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adoption process because you had
clarity at least at that point

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together, let's do the right
thing, right?

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We're like, we're going to,
we're going to get her educated,

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we're going to get her speaking
English.

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We're, you know, all of that
stuff.

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And then you, you've got this a
year of building this

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relationship because that's how
long all this paperwork process,

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you know, going on.
And I should have said I'm

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getting ready to cry.
But when I went to go visit her

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room and Niger at the
missionary's house, she had a

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picture of me and Allison and
Savannah and Jacob.

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Like, like it didn't matter to
her, Like we were her family

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because that was like a year
after all of that, you know?

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So that that hit me big.
That was cool too.

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Yeah.
Praise God, Uncle Josh, Praise

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God.
Yeah.

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And the cool thing was like,
because because you're going

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over there like, Oh no, it
failed.

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She's going to be like, I
thought I was getting out of

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this orphanage.
Like she's going to be upset

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with us.
And then when I saw that, it was

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like, like, you know, she could
care less.

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It was like, Oh yeah, y'all,
y'all love my American family

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like they care for universe.
Thank you for English.

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You know, like I said, she
still, she calls and checks in,

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you know, not all the time, but
once every two or three months.

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Hey, how you doing?
When are you?

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00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:05,360
When are you coming back?
Make sure you let me know so we

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can see you when you're back.
So it's great.

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00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:11,960
Yeah, it sounds like there
there's real meaningful loving

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relationship there.
Let's go to sort of a spot that

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00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:19,040
we go to with, with all of our
guests.

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00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:22,440
And that really is 2 kind of
final questions.

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The first of which is was it
coincidence or was it God?

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Yeah, I would have to say it has
to be God.

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I mean, the medical end of it,
just when you look at that like

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00:16:34,880 --> 00:16:39,240
this had set completely stagnant
for three years and 1st it had

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grown, but then it got to a
place where he just stayed.

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00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:45,520
Nothing was shifting, nothing
was moving, nothing, Nothing.

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00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:50,520
You know, So for the timing of
when I said a prayer and it was

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00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:52,280
just kind of like one of those
things that kind of popped in my

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00:16:52,280 --> 00:16:55,600
mind was like, OK, how about
this thing on my back make that

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00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:57,560
disappear?
Like, I don't even know why I

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00:16:57,560 --> 00:16:59,720
would have said that.
Like, I it wouldn't bother me.

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00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:03,760
It really wasn't a problem, but
it was just like almost like,

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00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:06,240
like, all right, I will know for
sure.

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I think that's why I throw it
out there.

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00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:10,520
Or maybe God just prompted me,
like, OK, this is what I'm going

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00:17:10,520 --> 00:17:11,560
to do.
I don't know.

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00:17:11,599 --> 00:17:13,800
But that's, yeah, I think it's
got to be God.

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Yeah.
OK.

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And so then the last question
that we always ask is what's

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been the impact on your life or
what's changed as a result of

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00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:28,920
this experience with God?
Yeah.

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00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:34,880
So I think one of the big things
for me is kind of through

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00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:39,040
outreach mission work, I've
always kind of been in like 100%

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00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:44,440
kind of when I've had somebody
that's like needed help.

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00:17:45,280 --> 00:17:49,840
So I've had a couple as is where
some friends or acquaintances

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00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:52,160
that you meet, they're going
through a hard time, whether

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00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:56,800
it's divorce, drugs, and you try
to get in and try to make a good

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00:17:56,800 --> 00:18:00,400
influence.
And I would invest so much time

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00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:03,120
in them.
It would become the center of my

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00:18:03,120 --> 00:18:06,920
life.
And then when it fails, it makes

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00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:12,160
you feel like, Oh, I failed.
And it always put like how my

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00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:14,040
feelings were.
And I think through this

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00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:18,680
experience I've seen like God
will use us when it's not about

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00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:21,400
us.
So it's like, all right, you,

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00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:23,920
you didn't get an adoption.
You didn't get to go to church

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00:18:23,920 --> 00:18:26,240
and and be like, Hey, here's my
daughter from Africa.

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00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:29,440
We adopted.
No, you just, you got to help

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00:18:29,440 --> 00:18:31,480
her out with university.
You got to help her to learn

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00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:33,480
English.
So for me, it relieves some of

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00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:38,240
the pressure of when you're
engaging with other people,

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00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:41,600
having to see the result that
you want to see.

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00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:44,240
Did you just do it because it's
the right thing to do?

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00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:46,920
So I would say that's probably
one of the the the biggest

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00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:49,400
differences that I've seen from
that.

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00:18:50,440 --> 00:18:53,400
Yeah, awesome man.
Well, really appreciate the

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00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:56,760
story, the insight, the
authenticity with which you

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00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:59,800
shared it as well.
So been an awesome pleasure

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00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:02,080
having you on.
Thank you a ton.

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00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:04,960
Really appreciate you sharing
your story in your own when you

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00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:06,520
look.
Thank you.

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00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:15,800
Was it coincidence or God?
You decide for yourself, but I

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00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:19,600
believe you just heard a story
for His glory.

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00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:25,040
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334
00:19:29,360 --> 00:19:31,560
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335
00:19:32,120 --> 00:19:36,440
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337
00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:42,240
for listening and watching, and
God bless.