The Dream That Exposed My Secret Life | Blake | 049

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Hey everybody, it's Mick from
When You Look giving you a heads

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up that there's a parental
advisory on this particular

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episode.
There's great insight in it,

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lots of amazing conversation,
but not all of the topics are

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ones that you necessarily want
your younger kids listening to.

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She said a couple nights ago had
a dream and it was about you.

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You were alone in the desert,
walking over Dune, over dune,

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just in search of something and
couldn't find anything.

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But out of nowhere, a lion Kane
and totally consumed you.

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Welcome to When You Look, where
ordinary people share their

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extraordinary experiences and
you get to decide, was it

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coincidence or God?
Blake, thanks so much for being

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on When You Look, man, we are
super excited that you're here

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today.
Excited to be here, Nick.

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Thanks for inviting.
Me 100%.

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Well, we know you got a super
cool story to share.

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We're not going to get to that
right this second because our

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listeners want to know a little
bit more about you, so why don't

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you introduce yourself?
Yeah, my name is Blake.

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I am Richmond Adam and I am
super excited to be on here

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today and just see what God can
do through this story.

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Awesome, man.
Well, thanks a bunch.

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So set up with a little bit of
back story, what we're about to

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hear, and then walk us through
the events of the story, if you

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will, as they unfolded for you.
Yeah, of course.

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Well, like I said, I was born
and raised here in Richmond, VA

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and have lived here most of my
life other than a small stent in

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Birmingham.
And so I grew up with my mom

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being a principal and my dad
being a pastor and talk about

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never getting away with anything
in my household.

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And so I kind of give you that
piece a little bit to talk

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through.
Like I grew up in a home then it

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was filled with an understanding
of God's word, what he stood

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for, his promises.
You know, my dad would say his

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promises are always true, yes
and Amen.

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I would hear that almost every
day.

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We also always said our we put
on our armor of God each day.

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And so honestly, when I look
back into my childhood, I'm

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really AM excited to know that I
was able to grow up in such a, a

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godly rich home.
And, and so I, my, my mom and

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dad actually ran a school for
inner city children and, and it

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was fabulous, man.
Just watching what it took to

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really not only do a ministry,
but to really do what God's

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calling you to do and see that
both from my mom and dad was

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such a true example.
So, so that's kind of just my

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background, my childhood.
I, I grew up with my mom and dad

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doing ministry and I did all the
other normal things, went to

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school, did sports, obviously we
were at church many times over a

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weekend.
So again, definitely filled a

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lot of church in my past and so,
but as I got into college, I

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kind of tried out my own thing.
You know, as you get into

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college, you kind of try all the
things out.

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At least that was me.
And and so a beautiful part of

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my story is that is where I met
the most beautiful woman in the

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world to me, Cassie, and who is
now in my future, who is not my

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future, but my wife today.
So back then I didn't know but

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she was going to be my future.
So anyways, I fell in love with

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this girl and we'll Fast forward
a little bit over some details,

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but we got the amazing shot to
get married.

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And until we walked into
marriage, I really felt like I

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at that point in time, I kind of
had throughout my college, I

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kind of dropped church, dropped
God a little bit, but God

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steered me back and we had a
great church.

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We were in a good flow, walked
right into marriage.

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We had a really solid start to
our relationship.

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We were in a good church, but
with most newly married couples,

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we don't walk into marriage
right with the manual of how to

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do this thing right.
Like, I don't know if you

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remember getting that manual
after you left.

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Like this is how you communicate
and this is what morning

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routines look like, and this is
what couch time looks like.

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And so we had to figure all
those things out.

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And so our first couple years
were really hard.

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I'm trying to figure out
communication, trying to to

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figure out how to fill each
other's cup, figuring out love

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language, you know, all those
things that we kind of find

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deeper along our journey.
That was really difficult.

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We got married young.
We got married 22 and 23 years

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old, which which I was super
stoked about because I was like,

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man, by the time my kids are in
college, you know, we can travel

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the world and of course castles
like kids, what, what are we

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doing?
And so all those things come

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into play.
And so, so I just, you know, we,

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we were trying to figure things
out, but things hit really hard.

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Kind of jumped back to the past
for a second.

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Honestly, throughout my past, I,
you know, growing up in

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childhood and because I was in
such a church filled home and

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all those pieces, I really, I
was quite sheltered.

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I did wasn't really introduced
to a lot of things, drugs or

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alcohol or porn or any of those
things.

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Really growing up I really
didn't see or was around a lot

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of those things.
But getting into college, I was

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definitely introduced to a lot
of those things.

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And so pornography was one of
them.

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While it didn't really stick
with me, it kind of was looming.

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And, but coming into marriage,
you know, you, you kind of have

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an idea of how intimacy looks
like from a world point of view

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if you don't have the right
expectation coming in.

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And I think I kind of came into
marriage with a wrong viewpoint

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of what that was going to look
like, intimacy, intimacy wise or

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connection, and how all that was
going to work.

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And when, when two people come
together, they are looking to

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serve each other and their
needs, especially in marriage.

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We're, we're looking to fill
each other's cup, right?

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And Cass and I didn't do that
well in the beginning.

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And especially for me, I didn't
do that well for Cass.

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And in return, she obviously
wasn't giving that back to me.

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I wasn't giving it to her.
So, and so pornography kind of

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came in, you know, when we were,
when we were married.

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And, and that was, you know,
that's hard to say, but that

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that's, that was my reality back
there.

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And and so it was kind of off
and on wasn't like an every

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night deal or that wasn't, you
know, crazy, but it was still

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there.
And I recognized that I really

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in that time, I recognized like,
man, things were not things were

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getting worse.
I see it now why as I was diving

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into something that I thought
was just meeting my need, really

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essentially what it was doing,
it was dividing me for my

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greatest need.
And my marriage was to be closer

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to to Cassie and what it was
doing It was it was dividing me.

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And so as I delved deeper into
that, well, that division became

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greater.
And so if you don't have a

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mentor, which I didn't at that
time, and if you don't have

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someone you can share intimate
details with, especially a guy

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friend or a father figure, which
I didn't have a good

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relationship with my dad at that
time.

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So I didn't have a lot of those
things.

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And so everything was internal
and I was just, I was trying to

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work the job, be the husband at
that time.

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We had also two kids and we were
in the thick and I just, I

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remember just thinking, gosh,
this is not what I signed up

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for.
I, I didn't know I all these

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complexities and the
communication and being so

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homebound all the time with the
kids.

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And, and so I've just felt stuck
and pornography kind of gave me

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an outlet.
So things just progress that

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way.
Life can just kind of go on and

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but then I met someone, a girl
that was just just a meeting,

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just a connection.
And as I connected with this

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girl, we there was just like
some things that we had mutual

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interest on.
So conversation started and

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interest started a form and as I
started to find out like more

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interesting things, I started to
dive right in because there was

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a need that wasn't being met and
so I wasn't finding it at home.

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So I went elsewhere, which
honestly my biggest mistake of

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not fighting for something that
was the most important.

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I went elsewhere to find it
differently.

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And as I delve deeper into this
relationship, I was seeing

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myself thinking, gosh, I could,
you know, maybe maybe this is

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this would be a best route.
Kind of the grass is greener

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over there.
So maybe that would be a better

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side to go over.
And at that point, I would say

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that is that moment when you're
like, the grass is greener.

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The emotional affair kind of
came in that I was emotionally

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getting involved with some other
woman that's not my wife.

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And, and gosh, I mean, this is
in and of itself just thinking

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about that.
It's just so hard to think about

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now.
Now we're in such a great spot.

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Back then it wasn't, but man,
that's a hard place to be in.

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Hard place, no doubt.
And so I, as I continued that

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conversation, really it was just
kind of text messages and then

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maybe some phone calls here and
there.

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And then there was like a
thought, what if, you know, what

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if I just hung out over the
weekend?

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I could go visit and just hang
out over the weekend and kind of

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see how that goes from there.
And as I had that thought, mate,

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I was like, what am I doing?
What am I doing?

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And it was just like this.
Where are you, God?

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You know, like you, I'm one of
your children, right?

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I was taught this all my life.
I was taught that your promises

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are true.
They're yes and Amen that you

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will protect me.
And what, why has not a piano

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dropped on my head at this
moment in time?

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Like seriously, like that's what
like I, I, like, I grew up with

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a dad who was passionate about
prayer.

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And so I knew about prayer.
I knew I could talk to God and I

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could wrestle with him and I
wrestled and I was like, dude,

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if you're real, you got to show
up, man.

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You got to show up.
And I, I need it.

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I need something that's going to
give me a sense of realness in

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this because I feel numb.
I feel numb and I don't know

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where to go.
And this seems this seems and

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feels right.
And I'll pause and say choices

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lead and feelings should follow.
But you when you let feelings

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lead, you can make a lot of
wrong choices.

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And so as as I kind of had this
moment with God and it's kind

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of, you know, kind of come to
Jesus moment with him around.

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I need your help.
Let me say, when you challenge

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God, I promise you he'll come
through and let you know.

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So after that, you know, I kind
of went forward with, OK, I'm

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planning this weekend.
I mean, we'll see where it goes.

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And so as I went forward and I
get a call from my mom, and at

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this point in time, I had a good
relationship with my parents.

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We weren't that close yet.
Over the next many years, we

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became way closer.
But this was a phone call that

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really kind of changed some
things.

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So my mom calls and my mom is
known.

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She's known that dreams and her
dreams and they're powerful.

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And and so she called and she
said, Blake, how are you?

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You know, we go through the
normal conversation and she

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said, I want you to know a
couple nights ago, I had a dream

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and it was about you.
And I remember thinking, OK,

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that's weird, that could it be
gone?

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We'll see.
And she said, I want you to know

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it was a dark dream.
And in terms of what it felt,

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you were alone in the desert and
there is this moment of you kind

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of just walking over Dune, over
Dune and just in search of

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something and couldn't find
anything.

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And she said, but out of nowhere
a lion came and totally consumed

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you.
Totally wow.

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And, and she was, I mean, there
are very few moments I remember

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my mom being shaken and that was
one of them where she was really

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shaken by what this dream was
and what it meant for me.

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And obviously, you know, I just
knew this was God saying, do you

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make this decision?
It's going to take you in a very

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wrong direction.
And I like, I have goosebumps.

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Just remember in that moment on
the phone call with my mom and,

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and so I said, mom, I know
exactly what this dream means.

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And she's like, thank God.
What who's it about?

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You know, And I'm like, well,
it's about me.

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I, I did tell her I was like, I
can't get into the details right

222
00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:15,840
now.
I need to, I need to go make

223
00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:18,360
some decisions.
I need to, I need to change some

224
00:15:18,360 --> 00:15:20,960
things.
And, and through a series of

225
00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:25,640
events, COD laid it out.
You know what I needed to do.

226
00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:32,600
And within the next day, I am
sitting with my wife on the

227
00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:39,520
couch, sharing exactly the
story, sharing where I was

228
00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:46,520
hearing what I've done, sharing
where I was going to go and what

229
00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:55,880
all those pieces were.
And and I just got on my knees

230
00:15:56,720 --> 00:16:00,280
and said, I, I don't want this.
I don't want this.

231
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:01,720
I don't want to go in this
direction.

232
00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:06,760
I don't want to do this.
I want to fight for what's

233
00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:09,120
right.
I want to fight for you, my

234
00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:10,600
wife.
I want to fight for what God

235
00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:15,800
wants.
And that point that was, I

236
00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:19,080
remember that night, I remember
where I was, remember what she

237
00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:25,040
had said and all those pieces.
And, and that was, that was the

238
00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:30,200
starting point as the starting
point of we had to fix some

239
00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:32,640
things in our marriage.
Obviously, we had to fix our

240
00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:36,360
communication and how we filled
each other's cups up and we

241
00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:39,760
needed to find some mentors and
we needed to get involved in

242
00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:43,160
church more and get a small
group and do all these things.

243
00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:49,440
And it was kind of like it.
And I pray for this for people

244
00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:52,560
now as I have had many
conversations with married

245
00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:59,640
couples or with friends around.
If you don't get with God first

246
00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:02,920
to create a plan, the world's
got a plan for you.

247
00:17:04,079 --> 00:17:06,640
We got to get with God and
create a plan.

248
00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:09,720
He'll make it clear.
And I just remember as I looked

249
00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:13,640
back on on my marriage and as I
even prep him for this, I knew

250
00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:17,359
all the things I really should
have done and but some reason I

251
00:17:17,359 --> 00:17:21,119
was not, you know what it was
make was totally distracted,

252
00:17:21,599 --> 00:17:24,400
totally distracted by all these
worldly things.

253
00:17:25,119 --> 00:17:28,440
And, and that's Even so
prevalent even today, how

254
00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:32,920
distracted we can get and how
easily we can forget the

255
00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:36,560
principles we probably have
already in our heart and our

256
00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:40,000
mind about what we need to do
and we just need to do it.

257
00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:44,440
And so, so that was kind of the
story.

258
00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:47,920
And, and we just worked on our
marriage and then through a

259
00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:51,760
series of events, God took us in
this amazing journey, took us

260
00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:54,880
into another state.
We got to have our own journey

261
00:17:54,880 --> 00:17:57,160
where we kept the clean closer
to each other.

262
00:17:57,600 --> 00:18:01,360
And then he brought us back
home, back home to Richmond,

263
00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:05,320
back home to the church where
we're at now still to this day,

264
00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:10,360
the church that me and you met
at and at the right time with

265
00:18:10,360 --> 00:18:14,640
the right small group, All in
all the pieces and, and still so

266
00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:16,720
thankful.
I've got a great friend sitting

267
00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:18,760
in front of me.
I've got an amazing wife,

268
00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:22,840
amazing family.
And I tell you, when you really

269
00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:30,520
look at what God did in my life,
you can see that all of those

270
00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:34,560
things were important pieces.
I wish I never made the

271
00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:38,960
decisions, but I can't say I
regret it because I look back

272
00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:42,280
and I say without those
decisions made, it didn't it?

273
00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:45,560
It set.
What it did set was a fire for

274
00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:51,240
me to never, ever get close to
that direction ever again.

275
00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:56,400
And how much closer I needed to
be with God and my relationship

276
00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:59,520
and how tight that needed to be.
So.

277
00:19:00,360 --> 00:19:04,000
So yeah.
So that is that story.

278
00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:07,920
Like thank you.
Thank you for laying it all out

279
00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:10,920
there, man.
It's a lot there and a lot of

280
00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:13,480
boldness in saying all of that.
So thank you.

281
00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:16,080
I got a couple of questions for
you.

282
00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:22,040
Let's let's rewind a little bit.
So where where were you when

283
00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:23,680
you're on the phone with your
mom?

284
00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:29,960
Yeah, I was actually.
I was actually in the park.

285
00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:32,800
I was actually.
That's interesting you asked

286
00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:35,040
that.
I was actually, I went to one of

287
00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:43,360
the parks that I had grew up
going to and it was, I went to a

288
00:19:43,360 --> 00:19:46,320
spot that I grew up where my
parents would park at.

289
00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:49,800
And I always remember looking at
these trees, loved how these

290
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:52,640
trees looked.
And it was kind of like a

291
00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:56,600
peaceful place.
So, you know, honestly, it's a

292
00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:59,320
detail I don't really, I haven't
really put down.

293
00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:01,760
But yes, I was, I was in a park,
one of my favorite parks and,

294
00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:04,360
and in my spot sitting in my
car.

295
00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:06,800
And it's when I got the phone
call.

296
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:10,640
So God knew when to give me that
phone call.

297
00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:13,960
Yeah.
And when mom calls, she

298
00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:19,760
describes the dream being
recent, but not necessarily that

299
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:22,520
prior night.
So I'm just curious, like, is

300
00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:29,200
there any overlap with the the
exact night that you're saying

301
00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:31,840
on the on the day that you're
saying, hey, God, like you got

302
00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:34,120
to you got to show up.
If you really are real, you got

303
00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:36,880
to show up.
I mean, do we have any idea if

304
00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:39,600
it was actually that same night,
just out of curiosity?

305
00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:44,760
Yeah, I mean, honestly it it
lines up to be, I mean, she she

306
00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:47,680
said a couple days.
And so it lines up to where I

307
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:53,760
was wrestling in in my car on my
drive from work.

308
00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:59,360
And yeah, you know, who knows
for sure, but it certainly seems

309
00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:05,160
like God lined it all up.
And so you it was certainly I

310
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:08,640
when it says in the word ask and
you shall receive, while I

311
00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:09,760
received.
Yeah.

312
00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:13,320
OK.
So take us back to that moment

313
00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:19,320
when you decided to challenge
God using your own, your own

314
00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:23,240
words there of challenging him.
Why did you decide to do that?

315
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:29,520
Yeah.
You know, relationships just in

316
00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:34,400
general, they're, they're
amazing, they're great, but

317
00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:37,120
really close relationships can
be hard in moments.

318
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:42,080
And God has been one of those
relationships for me in my, in

319
00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:45,840
my life.
You felt so close to me and so

320
00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:47,840
many moments.
So just like a small story, like

321
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:51,840
when I was seven years old, I
remember fishing with my dad.

322
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:55,640
We caught no fish for four
hours, Nick, 4 hours we're

323
00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:57,680
fishing.
And as a 7 year old, you're

324
00:21:57,680 --> 00:21:59,280
like.
Let's go.

325
00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:04,560
And I remember Ari, 7 years old,
like, alright, let me pray.

326
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:07,160
I'm gonna pray.
And I remember God.

327
00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:11,400
This is my last cast.
My dad has not caught anything

328
00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:13,600
today.
Give me something.

329
00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:15,360
Don't do it for me, do it for
him.

330
00:22:15,360 --> 00:22:17,560
I just remember like I wanted he
wanted to fish.

331
00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:22,720
I just want to be with my dad.
And so I'm reeling in and last

332
00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:24,480
like last cast.
God, do it.

333
00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:28,280
I'm reeling in and so it, it, it
snug.

334
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:31,680
And you know how dads do like,
oh, son, let me let me get that

335
00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:34,160
for you.
And I'm like, no, so I'm reeling

336
00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:36,760
it in and sure enough, I reel it
in.

337
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:39,960
We expected fish and what we
get, we got a crab.

338
00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:42,680
You know what that taught me?
Make be specific in your

339
00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:45,040
prayers.
Be specific in your prayers.

340
00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:50,400
And what I would say like God
was always, he was always there

341
00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:53,200
for me, like in Summit, like
that was a vivid moment.

342
00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:57,640
But all throughout my kid and my
kid life, my high school life,

343
00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:02,680
even into college, I still knew
I might, I might move you over

344
00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:05,560
here.
But if I call to you, you, you

345
00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:10,440
come and you're there.
And, but in that time when I

346
00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:13,960
talked about the division, I
knew I, looking back, I was

347
00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:17,560
making that decision, but kind
of hoping God would just make it

348
00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:19,720
clear.
You know, sometimes I think in

349
00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:23,520
our Christian walk, we just
expect God to just do the thing,

350
00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:26,320
you know, and, and, and redirect
us.

351
00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:32,520
But you know, God wants you
sometimes call out to him.

352
00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:35,680
He'll come to you, but draw
near, he'll draw right back.

353
00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:41,520
So that was kind of like a, it
was a desperate plea around if

354
00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:44,560
you're real, if you're really
real, I need you.

355
00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:48,880
I really need you.
And he delivered for sure.

356
00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:50,960
Yeah.
And how how long from your

357
00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:54,320
perspective, did was it until he
delivered?

358
00:23:57,160 --> 00:23:59,560
Yeah, I mean, you mean from the
time I prayed?

359
00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:01,560
Until exactly.
That's it.

360
00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:06,960
Well you've got prayer to mom
was a couple of days prayer to

361
00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:12,000
restoration with my wife was
probably 6 months to a year.

362
00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:20,520
But prayer of like wanting to be
most connected to my wife and my

363
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:22,440
family.
I mean, that took a journey.

364
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:25,600
We are there today, praise God,
we're there today.

365
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:28,040
But that took a that took a
journey.

366
00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:30,440
And I would say probably
probably 2 year journey around

367
00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:32,520
that.
But but God does it in layers.

368
00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:36,240
You know, mate, he, he gives you
what you need in that moment to

369
00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:38,200
set you up for your next
chapter.

370
00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:41,920
And then he'll, he'll set you up
for the next and the next.

371
00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:44,440
And so that's kind of was the
journey for us.

372
00:24:44,440 --> 00:24:50,240
And but God made it purely
evident that he was going to he

373
00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:52,800
would he would restore what we
needed.

374
00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:55,960
That was one of the things when
Cass and I were coming back,

375
00:24:55,960 --> 00:25:01,920
like how are we've got to adjust
and we knew restorations key.

376
00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:06,120
How can we come back together
stronger than we ever were in

377
00:25:06,120 --> 00:25:09,400
our relationship?
And and he he did that.

378
00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:14,840
Yeah, praise God, man.
Well, let's go back to college.

379
00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:20,160
Because.
So many of our listeners have

380
00:25:20,160 --> 00:25:25,560
had a college experience that is
perhaps some or very similar to

381
00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:31,240
yours, and just tell us a little
bit more about what you

382
00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:36,080
described as a bit of a drifting
apart or a separation from you

383
00:25:36,120 --> 00:25:39,920
and God in college.
Like just speak about that a

384
00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:42,040
little bit more.
Yeah.

385
00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:46,160
So, you know, like it kind of
said from my childhood, even up

386
00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:50,480
until high school, everything
was fairly sheltered for me.

387
00:25:50,680 --> 00:25:55,360
Like I didn't kids would always
knew the TV shows and the music

388
00:25:55,360 --> 00:25:57,480
and CD players and all the
things.

389
00:25:57,480 --> 00:26:01,040
And honestly, we just, my mom
and dad didn't have a lot of

390
00:26:01,040 --> 00:26:05,520
money, so we didn't have a lot
of things that kind of caught me

391
00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:09,360
up on what the world was doing.
Didn't have a grow up with a

392
00:26:09,360 --> 00:26:14,200
computer in the home.
And you know, all the things

393
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:16,120
that all my other friends had, I
just didn't have.

394
00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:23,040
Once I got to college, it was
kind of like, I really want to

395
00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:26,240
understand what all the world
offers.

396
00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:30,680
It's kind of like one of those
pieces where you've only had

397
00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:34,640
this kind of life and you've
been taught all the right things

398
00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:38,240
and you've seen God work, You've
seen all the right pieces in

399
00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:40,760
play.
You, you, you know, we've had a

400
00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:44,320
great family night, family
dinners, family together.

401
00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:47,000
So that was good.
We had, I'd give friendships,

402
00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:49,840
that was good.
You know, I had all the right

403
00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:55,080
pieces, but I also had never
encountered what is, what is the

404
00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:57,520
world like?
What's all these pieces, what

405
00:26:57,520 --> 00:26:59,400
everybody else is?
What am I missing out on?

406
00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:04,800
Kind of like the fear of missing
out, you know, And so I, I

407
00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:11,280
started in that and I just
remember freshman year, like I

408
00:27:11,280 --> 00:27:13,480
want to find some friends I've
never had before.

409
00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:16,760
I want to venture out, do some
things I've never done before.

410
00:27:17,120 --> 00:27:20,880
And, and I, you know, my
personality, I'm, I'm a bit of a

411
00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:24,000
risk taker.
So I definitely just kind of

412
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:26,000
went on a limb on a lot of
pieces.

413
00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:31,880
I moved out at my family's home
with friends act in college, you

414
00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:36,520
know, in, in our own apartment,
which I don't highly suggest,

415
00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:40,280
but you know, that was for me.
I didn't have, you know, it was

416
00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:43,760
still in Richmond.
So it's not like I moved really

417
00:27:43,760 --> 00:27:46,360
away from my parents.
I just moved into an apartment

418
00:27:46,360 --> 00:27:51,600
with friends and, and we did all
the things we had parties.

419
00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:54,640
We, you know, drugs got in the
play.

420
00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:57,440
I never really liked them, but
they got into play.

421
00:27:57,920 --> 00:28:04,480
Obviously girls came in the
picture and yeah, the life life

422
00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:07,800
be just became adventurous and
that that like kind of build a

423
00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:10,080
cup.
Like I just never really.

424
00:28:10,080 --> 00:28:13,200
I kind of had a lot of structure
growing up, not really having a

425
00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:16,080
lot of adventures.
So this kind of like, oh, this

426
00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:17,240
is an adventure.
It's fun.

427
00:28:18,440 --> 00:28:28,000
And yeah, so I just kind of
filled that in till I realized I

428
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:32,800
wasn't feeling fulfilled, Wasn't
feeling fulfilled.

429
00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:36,960
You know, you can fill yourself
with a lot of things and just

430
00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:41,320
still be hungry.
Just like if you are trying, I

431
00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:46,160
promise you if you try to eat
like me and my wife right now

432
00:28:46,160 --> 00:28:50,120
are on a Daniel fast, I promise
you I'm eating a lot of things

433
00:28:50,640 --> 00:28:54,560
and I'm still very hungry, very
hungry.

434
00:28:56,840 --> 00:28:58,800
But that's on the flip side for
the world.

435
00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:01,360
I was filling myself with all
the world things and I was still

436
00:29:01,360 --> 00:29:06,880
like, I don't feel fulfilled.
I don't feel like I got purpose

437
00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:09,120
in my life where I'm doing
something worthwhile.

438
00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:13,360
So I said, it's a good thing I
grew up with parents that did

439
00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:16,920
live a life worthwhile, did have
purpose, did have fulfillment.

440
00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:21,120
So that kind of planted that
seed for me.

441
00:29:21,120 --> 00:29:25,840
But once I encountered the world
fully, I realized like man,

442
00:29:25,840 --> 00:29:29,880
this, it's not really filling.
Yeah, it was good for the

443
00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:34,920
moment, or so it felt, but there
wasn't a lot of satisfaction

444
00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:37,720
ultimately from it.
So you mentioned, though, about

445
00:29:37,720 --> 00:29:42,640
being being pulled back or
pushed back or prodded back or

446
00:29:42,640 --> 00:29:45,160
nudged back, something along
those lines towards the

447
00:29:45,160 --> 00:29:47,440
beginning.
How did that happen?

448
00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:54,160
Yeah, well, actually all kudos
to my wife.

449
00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:58,440
So actually when I met my wife,
the cast, we she didn't know

450
00:29:58,440 --> 00:30:04,240
Christ and I found myself going
to it, you know, pretty college,

451
00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:07,480
youthful church, still was
trying, still was looking to

452
00:30:07,480 --> 00:30:10,080
check off all the boxes, still
looking to read my Bible, still

453
00:30:10,080 --> 00:30:14,840
looking to go to church, just
not be as engaged, but so.

454
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:17,160
Put up your cake and eat it too,
it sounds like.

455
00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:20,240
Yeah, yeah.
Essentially, You know, if my

456
00:30:20,240 --> 00:30:22,000
parents were to ask, hey, are
you going to church?

457
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:25,080
I can say, yes, I'm going to
church, you know, so, but I can,

458
00:30:25,080 --> 00:30:29,200
I can do all the other stuff.
So anyways, I met Cass.

459
00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:32,640
We we threw a series of, you
know, friends like y'all would

460
00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:34,640
do great together.
We met, we became really good

461
00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:39,320
friends and eventually we dated
and I was like, man, you should

462
00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:40,800
come to church.
Church would be great.

463
00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:45,840
You'd like it.
And she came and me and a close

464
00:30:45,840 --> 00:30:49,760
buddy of mine and her, we all
kind of just made it a deal.

465
00:30:49,760 --> 00:30:53,000
We were going to go to church
together and and that actually

466
00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:57,600
started to have fulfillment,
have fun like I was, you know,

467
00:30:57,600 --> 00:31:01,760
we were able to still, you know,
we well, not still, we were kind

468
00:31:01,760 --> 00:31:04,680
of still balancing this
adventurous worldly life and

469
00:31:04,680 --> 00:31:06,960
this Christian life.
So we're kind of, as you said,

470
00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:12,760
I'm taking you to, but honestly,
Cassie, she would say today, one

471
00:31:12,760 --> 00:31:15,360
of her greatest strengths is
discernment.

472
00:31:15,880 --> 00:31:21,280
And, and that is true.
And she had kind of shared that

473
00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:25,440
she was learning all these
things about what God was saying

474
00:31:25,440 --> 00:31:27,560
in the Bible and what Christ has
done.

475
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:31,320
And you know, when you're, when
you become a new Christian,

476
00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:35,760
after you have lived a life in
the world, you know, you've, I'm

477
00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:39,560
sure you've met like people are
like refreshed, renewed, like

478
00:31:39,560 --> 00:31:43,480
this is an amazing journey like,
and, and you kind of can dive

479
00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:46,760
all in and, and get all engaged
in what God's calling you to do.

480
00:31:46,760 --> 00:31:48,120
And that's what happened with
cast.

481
00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:52,200
So cast was kind of the one that
pulled me back.

482
00:31:52,280 --> 00:31:55,080
Like, Hey, we, we kind of have
to stop doing this balance.

483
00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:58,040
And what is the thing, you know,
I remember saying, well, what

484
00:31:58,040 --> 00:32:03,280
does the Bible say?
Yes, you're right.

485
00:32:05,520 --> 00:32:10,840
And even though I knew those
things, she kind of pulled

486
00:32:12,160 --> 00:32:16,560
pulled it out and reminded me
like, hey, let's, if we're going

487
00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:18,560
to do this, let's let's be all
in.

488
00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:25,040
And so it was a good journey
Where she kind of pulled me back

489
00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:27,880
in as she was drawing near to
God.

490
00:32:28,240 --> 00:32:32,360
And then it was kind of sweet,
our journey towards marriage,

491
00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:36,120
about just how much she grew,
and then how much really I grew

492
00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:41,560
back into my walk with God.
Praise God, man, praise God.

493
00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:46,600
I've heard it said that a good
woman is a man maker.

494
00:32:48,920 --> 00:32:55,440
It is true, no doubt, no doubt.
And I'm I'm make a just just a

495
00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:58,480
huge shout out to my amazing,
beautiful wife, Cass.

496
00:32:58,480 --> 00:33:02,040
You're amazing and I'm so
thankful for you and for our

497
00:33:02,040 --> 00:33:04,440
love together.
So yeah, so thankful for Cass.

498
00:33:04,840 --> 00:33:07,480
Awesome, man, Super sweet, super
sweet.

499
00:33:08,120 --> 00:33:11,600
Let's let's round the
conversation out, Blake, with

500
00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:15,000
the two questions that we ask
all of our guests here.

501
00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:22,920
The first of which is was the
call from Mom was the dream was

502
00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:27,520
the crying out to God?
Hey, show up if you really are

503
00:33:27,520 --> 00:33:31,000
real and if you're in this, was
that coincidence that it all

504
00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:33,480
unfolded as it was, or was it
God?

505
00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:39,960
Yeah, yeah.
You know, I'll, I'll, I'll

506
00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:44,760
answer it this way.
I told you my dad, I grew up

507
00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:47,240
with my dad being a pastor, my
mom being a principal.

508
00:33:47,240 --> 00:33:51,360
So we always had acronyms and
three PS for everything.

509
00:33:52,400 --> 00:33:58,440
But I remember my dad, he had a
wheel and he he made a bicycle

510
00:33:58,720 --> 00:34:02,000
and it was, you know, you can
flip it and he cut out a gallon

511
00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:05,560
jug plastic so that it would
make a sound.

512
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:11,880
And he put on there the wheel of
life and he put below it chance.

513
00:34:12,600 --> 00:34:15,280
And he said, sometimes when you
live your life, you're just

514
00:34:15,280 --> 00:34:19,120
spinning your wheel and wherever
it lands, it lands and it's just

515
00:34:19,120 --> 00:34:24,280
by chance or you live your life
by choice.

516
00:34:24,880 --> 00:34:29,760
And I believe that in that
moment for those two things,

517
00:34:30,760 --> 00:34:35,800
that was totally a choice from
God to me to make.

518
00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:41,760
And God was showing up to say do
not live your life by chance.

519
00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:44,480
Make the choice.
Choose me.

520
00:34:45,159 --> 00:34:49,560
All of my word is so true.
Choose me and and God showed up

521
00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:52,760
man so totally God.
Right on.

522
00:34:53,600 --> 00:34:55,600
Thanks for the explanation
there.

523
00:34:55,600 --> 00:34:58,920
That was quite neat.
Well, the final question that we

524
00:34:58,920 --> 00:35:01,480
asked Blake, and you've alluded
to some of this, but perhaps

525
00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:06,200
tell us a little bit more here
and that is how has life changed

526
00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:10,600
or how have you been impacted by
this since you view this as a

527
00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:16,400
guiding action moment?
How has life, how has this

528
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:17,640
changed my life?
Got it.

529
00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:26,200
Well, I would say from the
moment that restoration began

530
00:35:27,040 --> 00:35:33,080
till probably six or seven
years, that story just kind of

531
00:35:33,880 --> 00:35:40,840
stayed just between me and gas
kind of under the wraps, you

532
00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:44,120
know, just didn't have points to
share, reasons why I needed to

533
00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:47,120
share.
And that got his purpose.

534
00:35:47,120 --> 00:35:51,240
And I remember a good friend of
mine, you know, he just was

535
00:35:51,240 --> 00:35:54,920
asking me some good questions
and, and kind of asked me like,

536
00:35:54,920 --> 00:35:58,040
tell me about your story, like
any hardships, any journey.

537
00:35:58,040 --> 00:36:00,920
And that was kind of my moment
of sharing.

538
00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:06,640
And I remember he was like, you
need to share this, like you

539
00:36:06,640 --> 00:36:11,280
need to share the story, like
people, people would be very

540
00:36:11,280 --> 00:36:15,880
much impacted by it.
So I never thought about it.

541
00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:17,680
And I definitely went to cows
first.

542
00:36:17,680 --> 00:36:19,800
Like, can we pray?
Like do we do we share this

543
00:36:19,800 --> 00:36:21,880
story?
Like this is pretty vulnerable.

544
00:36:21,880 --> 00:36:24,080
Like like I said, I'm a risk
taker.

545
00:36:24,080 --> 00:36:26,120
So I'm, I'm kind of good to try
this.

546
00:36:26,120 --> 00:36:30,080
Like where are you?
And always check with your wife.

547
00:36:30,880 --> 00:36:33,920
So anyways, we felt like God
wanted me to share.

548
00:36:34,240 --> 00:36:38,400
I remember sharing it the for
the first time and just had, you

549
00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:41,600
know, a couple, I was out of
guys group and just a couple of

550
00:36:41,600 --> 00:36:44,520
guys came up to me and was like,
dude, I'm right there.

551
00:36:45,040 --> 00:36:51,160
Like thank you.
And, and I, I just recognized

552
00:36:51,160 --> 00:36:56,280
that we, we don't ever, we don't
ever realize what this story can

553
00:36:56,280 --> 00:36:59,840
do and, and how it can impact
others.

554
00:37:00,400 --> 00:37:04,520
It certainly changed my life, my
focus on my marriage, my focus

555
00:37:04,520 --> 00:37:08,280
on my relationship with God, my
understanding of where my heart

556
00:37:08,280 --> 00:37:11,560
needs to always be and to always
recognize that the enemy is

557
00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:17,720
looking to divide and totally
bring division with everything

558
00:37:17,720 --> 00:37:20,200
that is related to God.
And I've got to fight that.

559
00:37:20,720 --> 00:37:24,440
So it totally changed like my
perspective around how hard I

560
00:37:24,440 --> 00:37:27,680
need to fight to have my
relationships right, not only

561
00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:31,320
with God, my family and close
friends, but as well.

562
00:37:31,320 --> 00:37:35,680
I recognize that, you know, not
only I don't think big about my

563
00:37:35,680 --> 00:37:37,840
story.
I just think not only is this

564
00:37:37,840 --> 00:37:40,400
story important, but your story
is important.

565
00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:44,000
They can any other and everyone
should check out all the

566
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:46,200
podcasts on when you look.
He didn't tell me to do that,

567
00:37:46,480 --> 00:37:50,840
but the pieces around what
stories can do is impact where

568
00:37:50,840 --> 00:37:55,200
people are and and that's what I
pray for your platform, mate.

569
00:37:55,200 --> 00:37:57,600
That's what I pray for, the
story and for so many others

570
00:37:57,600 --> 00:38:01,000
that it would.
It would be refreshing, it would

571
00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:05,120
be reminding, and it would help
renew where people are and that

572
00:38:05,120 --> 00:38:08,880
today you can make a change.
You cannot live your life on

573
00:38:08,880 --> 00:38:11,720
chance.
You can make your life work on

574
00:38:11,720 --> 00:38:14,880
choice and by choosing God, and
He'll take you on the right

575
00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:17,760
path.
Wow, well said, man.

576
00:38:18,360 --> 00:38:19,840
Really appreciate that
breakdown.

577
00:38:20,840 --> 00:38:23,120
Yeah, like it's been wonderful
having you on.

578
00:38:23,640 --> 00:38:25,920
Thank you for the transparency
in your story.

579
00:38:26,240 --> 00:38:29,280
Truly great.
I am super confident this is

580
00:38:29,280 --> 00:38:31,840
going to bless others, no
question in my mind.

581
00:38:31,840 --> 00:38:34,760
So thanks again man, really
appreciate it.

582
00:38:34,840 --> 00:38:37,680
Nick, Nick, seriously, thank you
for doing this.

583
00:38:37,720 --> 00:38:39,800
Love this podcast.
I love what you're doing, love

584
00:38:39,800 --> 00:38:43,040
your heart, knit, and can't wait
to see what God's going to do

585
00:38:43,040 --> 00:38:50,160
with When You Look.
Was it coincidence or God?

586
00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:55,440
You decide for yourself, but I
believe you just heard a story

587
00:38:55,440 --> 00:38:59,400
for His glory.
When You Look is powered by

588
00:38:59,400 --> 00:39:02,880
stories just like this and yours
could be next.

589
00:39:03,320 --> 00:39:07,520
Go to whenyoulook.com/be a Guest
or use the link in the

590
00:39:07,520 --> 00:39:10,680
description below.
Drop us a comment and.

591
00:39:10,680 --> 00:39:13,640
Share this episode with somebody
that needs it.

592
00:39:14,200 --> 00:39:18,400
Until next time, thanks a bunch
for listening and watching, and

593
00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:19,160
God bless.