The Question That Exposed My Hypocrisy | Mick | 018

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He's given me the imagination to
consider what a conversation

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would look like with him, with
me standing in front of him, and

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then happening to answer that
question.

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Welcome to When You Look, where
ordinary people share their

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extraordinary experiences.
And you get to decide, was it

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coincidence or God?
So in episode 17, Carrie Green

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and I spend a bunch of time
talking about obedience.

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We recap what happens in
episodes one through 4, and then

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we get into biblical obedience,
and we also talk about obedience

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and sort of popular culture and
why the West tends to not really

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like obedience.
So on the heels of all of that,

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I wanted to share a bit more
about my story and specifically

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how God has changed my heart to
be obedient to Him.

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Now, I grew up in a home
environment that was strong on

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discipline.
I was in trouble a lot, and I

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got spanked a lot as a result of
being in trouble a lot.

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And the number one reason for me
being in trouble was that I was

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being, quote, disobedient.
End Quote.

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Now, I don't recall specifically
what it was because this is 40

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years ago, but I can distinctly
recall being told countless,

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innumerable times you're being
disobedient.

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I hated being told that I was
being disobedient because one, I

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knew the punishment was coming,
2 probably meant that the

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spanking was coming, certainly a
time out, whatever it might have

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been.
But the biggest part about it

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was is that I was then not going
to be able to do what I wanted

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to do.
So as the saying goes, rules

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without relationship equals
rebellion.

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And that was so true for me as a
teenager because while I knew my

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parents loved me, we didn't have
much of a relationship and I

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didn't care for the rules.
So I rebelled really, really

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hard.
But I grew up in a household

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where we regularly talked about
God, we regularly talked about

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Jesus, and I was very much aware
of the Holy Spirit.

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I went through Christian based
education from first grade

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through 12th grade.
So I absolutely had awareness of

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God, awareness of Jesus, and
awareness of the Holy Spirit,

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but I didn't really have any
relationship with God.

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I didn't have any relationship
with Jesus, just like I didn't

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have that much of a relationship
with my folks.

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And So what I wanted to do was
keep my folks and their rules

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and God and His rules as far
away from me as I possibly

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could.
God has tried to get my

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attention numerous times before
in life, but I didn't care.

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I didn't like His rules.
As I said, I wanted to do my own

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thing.
And after nearly killing myself

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in an avalanche in 2000, God
saved me from that and I still

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didn't give my life over to Him.
It wasn't until 2012 when I'm in

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my 30s and it's the result of
the death of our first born son,

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Luke, that I began to have a
relationship with God and with

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Jesus and with the Holy Spirit.
You see, what we thought was a

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Luke shaped hole in our hearts
turned out to be a God shaped

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hole in our hearts.
And He showed us this.

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He loved us through all of the
grief.

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He filled the hole.
And then He changed our lives

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and our family tree ever since.
Praise God.

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Years ago, I decided that I
needed to read the Bible

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starting 1 chapter a day, every
single day.

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And I decided to start in
Matthew because I wanted to hear

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what Jesus said right out of the
gates.

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And because of this, my Bible
was always out.

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And it was on the side table by
our couch.

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And one evening I picked it up
and it flipped open to First

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Samuel chapter 15.
Now, it wasn't the chapter that

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I was supposed to read for the
day, as I'd already done my

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reading that morning, But
something prompted me to read

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First Samuel 15.
Ultimately, it turned out to be

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pretty intriguing reading.
And when I got to verse 22,

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where Samuel says, does the Lord
delight in burnt offerings and

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sacrifices as much as in obeying
the Lord?

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To obey is better than
sacrifice, and the heed is

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better than the fat of the Rams.
At that moment the Holy Spirit

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said to me, Mick, this is about
tithing.

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What he was saying to me was do
it 100% on the gross.

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Now up to that point we had
tithed on the net of my normal

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paycheck and the gross of any
Commission payments that I had

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received.
And the Holy Spirit's point was

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obey God's direction.
Mick, a tithe of your first

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fruits to obey is more important
than the amount of sacrifice.

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Just do it.
So we did because it was the

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right thing to do.
I'm interested in being obedient

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because at this point, I'm close
to a decade into a meaningful

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relationship with God and Jesus.
And just as you heard, also

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hearing from the Holy Spirit as
I spent time reading the Bible.

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So if rules without relationship
equal rebellion, well, rules

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with relationship gave me the
opportunity to honor God.

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Later in 2023 everything changed
when the Holy Spirit revealed to

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me that I was subject to not
central in my own life and I

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covered that in detail in
episode 16.

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So go check that story out as
well.

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Suffice it to say because I
wasn't a created being, I was

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subject to God and His direction
and His guidance and His

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everything and I wasn't central
in my own life.

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And that was a complete game
changer for me as up to this

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point, without realizing it, I
was operating as the bumper

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sticker said, God is my copilot.
And so I can tell you for sure

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now, God is not my copilot.
I'm in the back of the airplane

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exactly where I belong because
God is the pilot and I am

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subject to him and wherever he's
taking the plane.

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Sometime after all of this, I'm
reading in Luke and I get to

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Luke 646 and boy did God have
that stick in me, man.

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Like not thorn in my side, kind
of stick, but not that far off

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from it.
So in Luke 646, this is Jesus

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speaking.
She says, right, Think about

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this.
This is red letters.

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This is Jesus saying, why do you
call me Lord, Lord and do not do

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what I say?
Man, that was no joke.

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So I began to grapple with that.
That's stuck with me.

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That one was not going away.
That was a real question that I

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had to answer in my life and it
was almost like another layer of

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this subject to not central
linear own life kind of reality

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for me.
So as a man, and what I mean by

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that is a full-fledged adult,
not an overgrown child like I

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was in my 20s and my early 30s
before I had a real relationship

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with God the Father and with
Jesus, I had to grapple with

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this and decide how am I going
to answer that?

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How am I going to respond to
that?

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Because I'm accountable for my
life and my behaviors and my

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decisions.
So what am I going to do with

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that?
Because I do call him Lord when

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I pray and I do use the word
Lord in the worship songs that I

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sing.
So why do I call him Lord?

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Lord and don't do what he says?
This was something I really

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needed to deal with.
The conclusion that I came to

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was that I was behaving
hypocritically.

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Simple as that.
My words, Lord, Lord, were not

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aligned with my actions all the
time.

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Meaning submitted, obedient,
doing what he was saying and

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they needed to be.
I mean, you can't call Him Lord

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and then not behave in a way
that is aligned with that

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terminology.
I mean, that means, hey, you're

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bored over me.
This conclusion of recognizing

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that I was operating
hypocritically is entirely

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because of God's grace being
evident in my life.

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So He's helped me get to that
conclusion is what I'm getting

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at.
He's given me the imagination to

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consider what a conversation
would look like with Him, with

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me standing in front of him, and
then having to answer that

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question, why do you call me
Lord?

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Lord and don't do what I say?
And I didn't want to have to

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stand in front of him and have
that conversation.

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So as an adult, I decided again,
this is with God's grace that I

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was going to behave differently
and that to the best of my

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ability, and with His mercy and
grace and His help through the

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Holy Spirit, I was going to
behave in a way that aligned in

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a submitted way with what He
said.

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So what is obedience look like
in my life thus far?

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Well, I'm going to provide some
actual examples and everything

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that I'm going to share is fully
with the intention to be

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transparent and to show that I'm
subject to the God of the

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universe.
It's not to make this about me,

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period, OK?
It's not to make this about me

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being better than somebody else
or anything along those lines.

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I'm not better than you.
You're not better than me.

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We're both sinners.
I have Jesus as my Lord and

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Savior.
You may too.

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So here's what obedience has
looked like in 2025.

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God blew up the transition for
me to move from company A to

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Company B.
And he made it very clear at

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that time that I was to start
working on when you look.

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So that's what I did.
But this was a huge deal though

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because I was the sole
breadwinner for our family.

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And days after the job change
blows up, I'm earnestly seeking

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God's direction through lots of
prayer during a fast.

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And God gives ME3 bullet points.
He says sit and wait, complete

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surrender, full trust.
And the sit and wait meant stop

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looking for work.
And so since then, I haven't

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looked for work at certain
points I wanted to.

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And I asked him, could I?
And he told me no.

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So I didn't.
And yeah, that was weird and

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uncomfortable and I didn't
really like it then.

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But he got Crystal with me many,
many weeks later when he said,

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shut your mouth and stop asking
me about this in prayer.

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Sit and wait means sit and wait.
Now since I was no longer

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collecting an income, I thought
I'll stop tithing until I get a

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new job and God said Nope, keep
tithing.

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So what did I do?
I immediately restarted the

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tithe and because it was a every
other week paycheck scenario and

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therefore an every other week
tithe, we never missed a single

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tithe contribution.
Now, God also told me don't ask

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anybody for money as it relates
to the podcast I will provide.

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So as a result of that, I
immediately took down the donate

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or contribute to the podcast
button that was on the website

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way, way, way back in the day.
He told me to increase giving to

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a missionary that we partner
with and at the exact same time

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he also said to increase giving
to a ministry that we also

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partner with.
So here we are in a scenario

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with no income and he says keep
tithing and give this missionary

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more and give that ministry
partner more.

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So my wife and I discussed it
not in terms of should we do

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this or not, but just hey honey,
here's what I'm getting from the

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Holy Spirit.
And she goes, OK.

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And so that's what we did.
At one point I asked God, how do

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you want to launch when you
look?

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And his response was 2 words,
launch party.

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And the understanding that I had
from that was that that meant an

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in person physical party.
So on April 11th, we had an

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actual physical launch party.
And shortly after that, I asked

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God, well, what about a digital
launch party?

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Because I've got friends all
over the country, they weren't

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able to attend the in person
physical launch party.

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Why not take all of the content
that we have and turn it into a

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digital experience?
And his response was no.

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Now it wasn't a hard and harsh
no, like no, how dare you.

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It was more no, you've done
enough.

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I got it.
And this summer I was praying

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and man, it was lots of tears in
this particular one.

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God and I were having quite,
quite the conversation in a

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wonderful and good way, and I
was overwhelmed by His goodness.

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And at one point during that
prayer, I felt compelled to say

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send me.
And I had no idea what it meant,

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no idea what it meant.
I even told him that in the

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prayer.
And I was like, Lord, send me.

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I don't know what this means,
but send me.

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And a handful of weeks later, 2,
maybe 3 money was provided to go

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on a mission trip to Costa Rica.
So here I have no idea why I'm

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even praying.
Send me and a handful of weeks

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later, God provides the
direction to go and the dollars

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to go.
And by God's grace and

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provision, my daughter was able
to go as well.

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And we had a wonderful
experience even though it wasn't

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about us.
So we're in a weird and

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uncomfortable spot.
Here's what I mean by that.

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I'm no longer in the traditional
workforce, and I've been in the

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traditional workforce for quite
literally 3 decades.

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We don't have any income.
We are living on savings.

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And that is, at least in our
kind of like earthly

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perspective, a limited resource.
So some days we squirm more than

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others.
And yet this situation that

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we're in is actually an answer
to prayer.

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And what I mean by that is, is
that many times over the last

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half dozen years, I have prayed
for God to grow my faith.

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And what I envisioned as I
prayed those prayers of God,

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please grow my faith, Lord,
please grow my faith, was that

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he was going to just magically
sprinkle some faith dust on me

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and I was going to have more
faith and life was going to be

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easier because I had more faith.
But it really doesn't work that

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way, at least not with him.
So the challenging situation

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that we are in right now is a
direct answer to prayer.

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And in this challenging
situation, we benefit from the

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history, the evidence that we
have of the countless times that

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God has delivered before in our
lives.

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And we benefit from having seen
God deliver in absolutely

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incredible ways in the Bible.
Like, these are not just

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stories, they're ones that we
can actually apply to our lives.

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Case in point, Moses was very
likely squirming when he had to

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go stand before the king of
Egypt and say, let my people go.

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Or then later when they're out
in the desert and their backs

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now are up against the Red Sea
and they can see the Egyptian

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army coming for them.
He was probably squirming

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because that wouldn't have been
a very comfortable spot to be

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in.
But Moses was saved as a baby

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for those times as an adult.
And there's a lot of

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similarities in my life to
Moses.

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So in closing, obedience is a
heart issue.

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And here's the question that we
ask at the end of nearly every

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episode.
Was the heart change for me

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moving from a strong desire
ultimately to be disobedient to

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God, disobedient to my parents
younger in life, to having a

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strong desire to be obedient to
God later in life as my

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relationship with Him became
meaningful?

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Was all of that change
coincidence or God?

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And Simply put, God?
God has changed my heart over

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the years and He gets all the
credit.

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And now it is my intention and
my desire to obey Him, to honor

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Him, and to glorify Him.
So Lord willing, I'm going to

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keep going and I'm going to keep
being obedient.

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We land the plane with the
question of how has your life

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changed as a result of all of
this?

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And the answer to that is, is
that it's a lot less about me

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than it used to be.
Thank God it's that way.

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My prayers now are focused on
His will, me taking the steps

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each day into the things that He
has ordained for me to do.

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Because if I focus on what's
going to happen, what's next?

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Lord, I don't really know.
This all looks pretty Cray Cray.

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It's easy for me to get caught
into fear, but when my prayers

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sound like this, your will be
done.

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What do you have ordained for me
to do today?

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Let me walk in those things,
man.

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There's a whole lot more peace
and there's a whole lot more

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direction and a whole lot more
clarity that comes each day for

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what I am supposed to do to
honor Him and to glorify Him.

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And that's not necessarily easy.
Like it's not all Peaches and

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cream.
It's not all rainbows and

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butterflies, but Jesus didn't
promise that.

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In fact, He's crystal clear in
John 1633 where He says, I tell

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you these things because in this
world you will have trouble.

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But then it gets so good because
he goes, but take heart, I have

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overcome the world.
So my expectation is not that

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being obedient is going to
create this perfect and amazing

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situation.
It's just simply out of a love

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that I have for him that's
developed over the years because

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of the relationship that we
have.

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Where he's shown me more of his
character, where he's helped me

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realize that I need to be
subject to not central in my own

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life, and where he's shown me
that he's kept me alive.

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For things like today, just like
he kept Moses alive during the

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Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5
through 7 in Chapter 7 verse 13

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and 14, Jesus says enter through
the narrow gate.

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For wide is the gate, and broad
is the road that leads to

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destruction, and many enter
through it, But small is the

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gate and narrow the road that
leads to life, and only few find

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it.
Summed up for me, it's not Jesus

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in our lives, it's Jesus as the
head of our lives, meaning mine,

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my wife's and my extension, our
children.

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And we have chosen not the wide
Rd. but the narrow path that

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leads to life and that we
believe will make all the

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difference.
Thanks for listening.

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This may have inspired you.
Or maybe you think that my wife

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and I have completely lost our
minds.

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Let us know in the comments.
We'd love to hear what you

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think.
And if you haven't yet

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00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:41,000
subscribed, please do that
because subscriptions, they help

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00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:44,400
with reach, and reach helps to
extend God's glory.

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And that's important to us.
So until next time, God bless

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and all hail King Jesus.